Her Mission To Save Them All
by FourEyedSpectacle
Summary: "We are pawns, but you are a Queen. Make your moves count." Kayoko Akahoshi, niece of Akihiko Kayaba, has a mission to complete. To kill her uncle would end the game, but what will she have to sacrifice for the deed?
1. Chapter 1

POV: Kayoko

It's finally here.

The excitement in my heart pounds as I slowly get up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Every nerve in my body screams to move, to take the box that sits on my desk and open the flap, just to feel the plastic of the nerve gear between my fingers.

It takes more effort for my hands to not stray towards that box than it does to reach for my phone. The screen flashes as I turn it over, the light of the screen blinding in the dim winter lighting.

November 6th 2022

A smile spreads onto my lips. For months I have been dreaming of this day. This day when all the interviews and the nights spent sleepless, waiting in anticipation, disappear like fragments of memory.

And it's all because of this day. The day the first virtual reality game is released, created by my own uncle, Kayaba Akihiko. It's the day Sword Art Online stops being a brain child and becomes enjoyment for all 10,000 people who were lucky enough to snatch copies for themselves.

I'm lucky enough to have 3 copies, hand deliveredby my uncle. One for myself, one for my friend, and well, the other one is the forfilling of a promise.

I trace my hand over the cover, following the lines of Aincrad, a hovering castle of game code that has taken 10 years to create. I slip the other two copies into my bag, placing the other on top of the nerve gear box.

Soon, I promise myself. I will be back in that world of swords and excitement and battles again. Soon.

Slamming my door, I step out into the chill November air, the winding path so familiar to me that I could walk it with my eyes shut. I brush my hand down the wall blocking the street and the houses beyond, feeling the rough brick dig into my skin.

I make use of the feeling to cap the bubbling excitement of my soul. I can't stop the smile that rises with every fragment of thought anymore than I can surpress the butterflies beating their wings against my stomach.

I approach the two story stilted building, taking the rickety steps up the side and come face to face with a worn door, the blue paint peeling off. I curl my fingers into a fist, knocking softly.

After a few minutes without an answer, I don't bother repeating the knock. Rather, I sigh. Of course he's going to be like this on the day I've been waiting forever for. I pound my flat palm against the wood, calling out in irritation,

"Kyo? Open up!"

I hear two thumps from inside, then the slide of the latch and the click of the door.

"What?" He asks me flatly, pushing aside his warm brown hair for where it covers his eyes. One end sticks up at the back, almost in defiance of the early hour. I roll my eyes, pushing him straight back into the house.

"Honestly," I shut the door behind me, not bothering with welcoming myself in and head straight into the living room. As I take a seat at the square table in the middle, I point back to his figure in the doorway, "You're not going out like that."

"You're not my mother, Kayoko." He tries a small smirk, something that was once so difficult at ease on his features. It took me months to realise after he moved schools half a year ago that he has dimples between his cheeks.

"If I was, I wouldn't be half way across the country, would I?"

His expression falls flat, eyes roving over me in his expressionless way he does when something gets too much to talk about. I seize my tongue, scolding myself for letting something like that slip.

"Anyway," I try to roll my wrist in a dismissing guesture I see Mum do all the time. "You know they're going to kick you out of school if you arrive like that."

"Maybe that's my intention." He says darkly.

"You can't just be a gamer all your life, Kyo." I pick up one of his controllers from the table, waving it about.

"Says the girl who's family literally earn their money off games." His shoulders get less tense the more I coax him into the conversation. Kyo even takes his weight off the door way to stand in the centre of the room, arms crossed tightly around his chest. "You're a real hypocrite, you know, Kayoko?"

I shrug, "Yeah, I know. How about if you go to school with me today, I'll owe you 3 chess games and this,"

I don't dare to wave the copy of SAO in front of him, but I hold it out to Kyo, daring him to take it. He snatches it off me without saying a word, turning the packaging so it reflects off the light above. He reads the box summary, then, finally, he opens the case, sending a miniature rainbow reflecting of the disk.

"It's beautiful," He breaths, as if he doesn't believe the plastic between his hands his real. "Thank you."

"Only if, in exchange, you play with me tonight."

"Okay, that sounds really dodgy." We both snort together, shaking with laugher.

"No!" I gasp between breaths, "That's not what I meant!"

"Whatever. Can't we play SAO now?" He begs like a child, bending his face down to meet my own. I shove his face away from mine, pointing to his tie.

"Nope. We have school, and if I don't see that tie straightened in 5 seconds, I'll take the game back."

"Yes Ma'am." He gives me a playful salute before doing exactly as I tell him. With his bag over his shoulder and tie straightened, he shuts the door and we begin walking to school.

"You know your hair's still a mess."

"Ah, but the girls like it that way." He winks at me, and I can't help but roll my eyes again.

"Don't use that as an excuse to get out of brushing your hair, you idiot." I try my best to smack him onto of his head, but he's a few inches taller, so I only just skim his hair.

Kyo sticks his tongue out at me, setting a faster pace. From our houses, school isn't that far, only 15 minutes away, but because of a certain someone, we're running a bit late.

"Kyo, you and your damn long legs," I stomp each stride, trying to widen them to keep up. "Slow down, not everyone's a tree like you."

He glances at me, letting out a little 'pft' at my walking style, amusement sparking in his eyes. "And not everyone is a blade of grass like you."

"Oh, haha, I can play the call your best friend a silly name game too, you idiot." I finally manage to catch up, though I suspect it's because he let me.

"What you said was literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Well, sorry," I try my best to breeze past him, "It has to be in a language you would understand: the idiot's language."

"Mmmm..." He presses his lips together in doubt, giving me a look equally filled with scepticism.

"Don't do that, it sounds creepy."

"Mmmmmmmmm..."

"Ugh," I throw my hands up, as if I can throw away the conversation. "I give up. You're impossible."

He laughs at my frustration, "That's my win."

I frown at him, placing my hand on my chest. "Just wait until we get to school, I'll show you who's the winner. I, Kayoko Akahoshi, challenge you, Kyozo Kauto, to a chess duel."

"I accept your challenge, but you'll have to be ready to recognise who the winner is. Me."

"You say that, but you'll be the one who'll be buying the drinks at break."

"We'll see about that."

We make it into school with seconds to spare, quickly removing our shoes in the cloakroom before hurling ourselves up the stairs. Luckily, out of the long strip of classrooms on the first floor, ours is the one closest to the stairs.

I slide the door back, bowing silently at the teacher who has begun to open the register. She nods at me and Kyo and we hurry to our seats towards the back of the classroom.

"You know," Kyo, from the desk to the side of me, "We could have got away with it if we entered from the back door."

"Get away with more classroom duty, I think you mean." I huff, seeing the message written on the board in chalk. Halfway, I smile, nudging Kyo. "Hey, looks like we have free time for 15 minutes."

"You know what that means, right?"

I laugh, digging my phone out my pocket and opening the app i downloaded to kill by boredom about a year ago.

Who knew it would end up gifting me my best friend? A holographic projection casts from the camera as I turn it face down, each of the pieces positioned in the correct place.

"Which colour do you want to be?"

Kyo turns from where he's struck up a conversation with another student. A part of my heart falls at it, another section also feeling incredibly proud of him; at his progress.

"Whatever. You know I don't mind."

"You literally just gave away your advantage of the first move." I shrug, training back to examine the board, choosing a strategy I've been thinking of for a while. I make my move and place the phone on his desk.

His eyebrows furrow as he stares at the move I've made. "You only moved your pawn one space when you have the advantage of being able to move it two spaces during the first move?"

I nod, feeling a smirk form on my face. "It's a new strategy I thought of. Looks like you might have to buy the drinks this time."

He nudges the knight so it jumps over one of the pawns and smiles at me, mischief glinting in is eyes. "You wish."

Seeing us focusing on the game, our classmates quickly excuse themselves from the conversation. They know once we get serious, there's no stopping us as we make furious movesback and forth, no clear victor emerging between us.

At one point, Kyo moves the phone onto my desk and pulls out a chair from the one opposite, eyes not being able to tear themselves from the game. He leans over the back of the seat and smirks as he makes his move

I click my tongue in frustration while Kyo takes my bishop with his knight, the same piece that he moved first. He flicks the avatar towards me, though it shatters into crystals before it can go through my head.

I wave the shards aside with my hand as I examine the board closely, trying to calculate the best move in my head. After crossing out several options, I sigh.

"Do you need some time to think, Kayoko? Your brain seems to have gotten slow in your old age."

I stick out my tongue out to remind him, "You're literally 6 months older than me."

"And yet, you're taking this long."

"Only because you're distracting me." A small smile draws out on my lips. I move my pawn forward again.

"Check!" I laugh triumphantly as the projection spins around in the celebratory animation. "Who's old now?"

"Eh, fine." Kyo runs his hand through his hair, leaning back a little on his chair to stretch the other arm. "Looks like Kyo-senpai will be buying the drinks today."

I shake my head and roll my eyes at the comment, turning my phone off. Out of the tops of my lashes, I see a silhouette standing over me, and as I look up, I recognize the circular face framed by dark, bobed hair.

Her dark eyes blink, studying me. I recognise her from one of the other classes, so I nod in greeting. She fiddles with the ends of her frayed jumper sleeve as she approaches me.

"Hey," She says, her voice filled with a force I wouldn't expect from her demeanor. "Is it true that Kayaba Akihiko is your Uncle?"

*


	2. Chapter 2

_**POV: Kayoko**_

"Link Start!"

I stand in a black room, the login room and a pop up hovers in front of me that asks for my name. Without hesitation, I type in 'Kira' as a substitute for my real name. I decided on Kira because it wasn't too far from my real name but was close enough that it wouldn't feel weird when people called be that.

I press the circle to confirm my name and a few other pop ups appear, explaining the mechanics of the game, but I just brush those aside. I already know how to play.

And finally, after too many pop ups, it asks me where I want to spawn of the first level and I pick the main plaza as it is the closest to the meeting place me and Kyozo decided.

Then I am dropped into the bustle of the plaza. In the centre stands a fountain and around it, shops and stalls advertise everything from swords to healing potions. Players crowd around each one, interested in the product on display, some even burning through their automatic given coins.

From the main plaza, several streets lead off and I take the one to my right, having to dodge eager players running about. It doesn't take me long to reach our meeting place out of the gaggle of people.

I deliberately choose a place that wouldn't be too crowded so that we wouldn't lose each other. I also choose the sector of the main city that was the closest to the fields as it is the most important for Kyozo to learn the basic skills to get ahead of the other players.

Our meeting spot is a tree that curls around a lamp post and next to it, in between the sprawling roots, a bench stands. And next to that bench stands a boy with his hands shaped in to an X.

Kyozo.

He hasn't changed any major features, unlike me. He still has his copper hair sticking up in a familiar fashion. I guess the only thing different is what he is wearing. Which for Sword Art Online, is very simple. Something you could wear on the real world.

A tan jacket is worn over a white t shirt and black jeans. Belts wrap around his torso like the ones strapped around mine and boots similar to mine on his feet.

He looks kinda stupid standing there behind the bench with his hand in an X. I smile. Maybe playing this game with him won't be bad after all.

I stroll up to him and when I am about a metre away, I make an X with my hands like him.

"Kayoko?" He tilted his head, questioning.

"That's Kira to you, Kyozo."

"Call me Kyo then." his infamous smile on his face.

*

So we gonna get some weapons?" Kyo asks as we stroll down the streets of the town of beginnings. It is loud from the hum of people's voices and the pounding of boots against the hard beige stone that echoed through the narrow streets.

"I don't know but what I do is that we, well more specifically, you need to practice our, I mean your skills."

"What!" Kyo's body droops with disappointment, "Why can't I be like you already?"

"Because you weren't in the beta." I say quietly, avoiding attention but then say louder "You are lucky you have me, really."

"I think you have a loose definition of lucky." Kyo's eyes seems to catch on of the swords on display as he stops to examine the item. Among the land of swords stored on a velvet purple cloth, Kyo's eyes pick the flashiest one.

It is curved like an s, the handle wrapped in leather and the sword metal is coloured gold with a glowing blue jem set in the middle.

"You know, you probably won't even be able to lift that, or afford it."

He raises his eyebrows.

"Just trust me on this."

I point to the simple flat sliver blade, priced as the second cheapest, a simple leather bow and arrow set and three small but sharp throwing blades. "Can we have these please."

"You sure know what you are doing Missy." A guy around 18 comes up to me and grabs my hand midway through pointing "You didn't happen to be in the beta test, did you?"

"No, I just happened to read the instruction manual, something clearly beneath you it seems." I say as smoothly and as coldly as I can, wrenching my hand away.

Kyo snorts at the man's shocked expression and I return to buying the weapons me and Kyo will need. The vender hands me the items and we half the price of them.

The we leave the town behind and head for the fields, were the grass lands sprawl before us and the waterfalls reflect light into perfect little rainbows. A few other players dot that landscape, those who know that the most important thing to do first is to get a sense of the game.

*

"Ok Kyo, listen carefully, I would rather not explain again." I warn. Kyozo's concentration only lasts about 5 minutes in a good situation so I have to explain this quickly.

"What is important is you initial motion input, if you are able to do it right then you activate a sword skill and the system with make sure the hit connects."

"Right..." Kyo sounds unsure but he swings the sword anyway but it doesn't hit the boar and he is sent flying a couple of feet instead.

This has happened too many times to count a this point so I sigh. Maybe swords aren't his thing. I think hard.

"Maybe we could try archery? And if that doesn't work I guess there is always knife throwing." I suggest.

Kyo looks crestfallen. In a heavily sword oriented game, heck it is even in the title, I guess if you can't master swords you are a bit screwed.

"Just focus on activating the sword skill, then the system will take care of it." I repeat myself for about the a hundredth time.

I raise my sword, until it vibrates in my hand and I can see the blue glow out of the corner of my eye, then I swing at the boar. My body moves on its own and I slash the side of the blue beast then jump back as it charges past me and towards Kyo.

"Kyozo, look out!" I call, running to slash the boar again. But it shatters until blue crystals as Kyo activates his sword skill and throws his sword like a spear at the boar.

"That's Ryo to you, Kira." Kyo pretends to look offended.

"Maybe we should try blade throwing then." I laugh as the white notification counts the amount of experience we get.

*

The sun mixes in swirls of yellow, orange and pink by the time we are done. I laugh as I fold myself onto the grass beside Kyo. It is almost time to log out, but I find myself wanting to stay in the game longer.

"So what do you want to do next time?" I ask Kyo as we both watch the sun set over the first level of SAO.

"I don't know, maybe try out Archery, level up, find a girlfriend." He jokes, at least I hope.

"I don't think you will find anyone here, how about Saki?" I say with a slight bitter tone.

"You jealous?" He teases me, poking me in the stomach.

"Hell no, to be honest, I would pity the unlucky girl." I wack him in the back of the head with my hand "And ow that hurt by the way!"

"She says after hitting me harder." he mumbles under his breath.

"I heard that."

Kyozo stands up, offering his hand to me. I take it, intending to stand up, but half way, Kyo let's go of my hand and I fall back down into the grass. My friend bursts out into laughter as I stand up on my own.

He is taller than me when we stand face to face so I decide to even it up a bit. I punch him in the gut.

"Ow!" He doubles over. "That hurt as well you know!"

"Please, this is a game, you don't feel pain, idiot!"

"Yeah but in my heart I do!" he complains

"Get over it." I yell but then smile.

"You are such a Tsundere, Kayoko."

"I am not! And it is K-i-r-a." I spell the letters out.

"Sorry, Kira." He emphasises the name. "I have to log out ok, I promised my parents I wouldn't dive for long" He swipes two fingers in the air and his menu appears.

"Umm... I probably sound like a complete idiot, but where is the log out button?"

"First, you don't sound like a complete idiot, you are a complete idiot and second, it is he-" I trail off as my finger hovers over the log out button.

But the thing is, it isn't there

*


	3. Chapter 3

_**POV: Kayoko**_

It's not there. It's not there. It's not there. The log out button isn't there. How could it not be there? My finger hovers over the void, my arm trembling. With what I don't know.

"Hey, Kayoko, are you ok?" Kyo moves in front of me, the menu snapping into oblivion. My hand still suspended over that place. The place where the log out button should be. Where is it? I don't even care that Kyozo called me Kayoko anymore. Everything that mattered before pales in comparison now. Only that one question is in front of me.

"Where is it?" My voice quivers.

"Kayoko it is ok, just calm down." Kyozo shakes me lightly on my shoulders.

Everything was not ok. What would happen. What would happen to my uncle. Would he go to jail? Would he lose all his money and then his sanity or maybe even his life.

What would happen to me? Would I be stuck in this game forever? All I knew in between the sea of questions in my mind was that this was not the time to be calm.

"It isn't there." My eyes welled. Was it even possible to cry in a game? What were the tears made of, data and pixels? But they felt real as they slid down my face.

"Kayoko..." My friend's voice was ridged with caution. "You have to calm down, please, calm down." My avatar just trembled more.

"It is probably just a bug, we just have to wait for them to fix it." He pulls me to his chest, so I can hear his virtual heart beat in my ears.

It isn't a bug. Deep down, I know that and I think Kyozo knows it too but I let his words wash away my panic. He is right. I don't have time to panic.

"But if it is a bug, they would have shut down the servers, logging everyone out" I say as Kyozo peals me off his chest minutes later. I try to get the horror of the situation out of my head. "Maybe is is just you the bug effects, or a number of players."

"Maybe, but what about you, can you log out?"

I raise my hand, flicking my wrist and my menu appears. I press on the section where the log out button should be. Will it be there? Please be there.

But it isn't.

My soul sinks like a stone to water. I can't log out. I take a deep gulp of air. Calm, I tell myself. The stone may sent ripples of dread into me, but the water was originally calm and it will be again.

"I am the same as you." I mutter flatly.

"Maybe it is just us, let's go and ask them." he points to the two figures standing in the distance.

"Yeah."

We start sprinting towards the two silhouettes, who I can tell are both boys as we draw closer.

One has jet black hair, with the majority of it over on one side, he wears a midnight blue top over the standard beige armour given to players in the normal avatar customisation.

The other has shoulder length hair coloured a dark pink, a red and yellow bandana tied around his head. He wears the almost identical outfit to the avatar standing next to him, but with a white top underneath.

"Hi!" I wave at the two as I reach them, the pinkette stand with his menu open, confused.

"I'm Kira, that's Kyo." I gesture over my shoulder to Kyo, unaccustomed to running in this environment. "Having the same problem?"

The boy with black hair nods, "I'm Kirito."

"Klein!" He stands too close, his face almost pressed up to mine.

The boy named Kirito moved to push Klein off but I beat him too it, kicking him in the side.

"Someone offended you already?" Kyo finally catches up, "That must be a new record."

"It is not, he was just too close, geez." I huff, pouting.

"So, you having it too?"

"Yeah, but it has to be a bug." Klein recovers from his kicking, jumping back up and standing beside Kyo.

When I move to stand beside Kirito, we form a circle. In a hushed tone, I tell them about our hypothesis.

"That certainly seems possible..." Kirito stares at the mix of colours in the sky as the thinks. The handle of his sword casts a shadow on the grass.

"What about calling the game master?" Klein begins to open his menu before I warn him.

"There is no point, it probably won't give you a straight answer."

"So we just have to wait." Kyo crosses his arms.

"Pretty much."

But we our conversation is cut short as a bright blue glow blinds our vision and the loud echos of bells can be heard across the landscape. Then suddenly, the glows turns brighter, attacking my vision until what I see is no longer fields of grass but stacks of bricks.

Me and Kyo stand in the main plaza, other players teleporting around us, I spot Kirito and Klein a couple of metres away but so many people are appearing all a once that I quickly lose sight of them.

"A forced teleportation? But the only one who can do that is..."

Before I can finish, a red warning light blinks in the sky, then it multiplies, until the sky is no longer a mix of colours, but one; red.

Liquid drips and forms a person consealed by a large blood red cape with gold running along the stitching.

I had never seen this sprite in the game before, what was it? And enemy? A friend? If it was something that could hurt me, then I should move, but something roots me to the spot. Was it the roots of fear?

"Attention players," The black shadow covering the figures face made me feel even more afraid. They way I couldn't see his lips moving to form sound was unnatural to me.

"Welcome to my world."

What? But it said 'my world' but...but that is impossible. Unless...

The next words he says confirms my suspicions.

"My name is Kayaba Akihiko."

Uncle. Not anything to be afraid of, right? But they way he hid his identity was, well, weird. Why would he do that if this was just a welcome to the game? All I could do was continue to stare up, hanging on the cliff that was his words.

"At the moment, I am the only one who can control this world."

World? Is this plaza just comprised of data and pixels? It isn't a world, it is just a game, right? Then why was this a world? It is a plastic world at best, it seems real but if you look closer, it bends and shatters.

"I'm sure you have already noticed that the logout button is missing from the main menu." My uncle flicks his wrist, calling the main menu up, his hand stopping when he reaches that void where the log out button should be.

He will just say that it is a bug. Yes, that's it, then he will shut down the severs and delay the game. I don't know whether people will still play after this fault but SAO can't really die, can it?

Instead, he says the exact opposite that I expect. "But this is not a defect in the game." His voice rings out on the silence of the 10,000 players.

"What!?" The word springs out before I can stop it. Before, the log out button was there. It worked. So why remove it? What was the purpose?

But what mattered the most now was one question that ran through my mind. Would I be stuck here forever? What would happen to my life? Would I never meet anyone special, will I never try all the foods I wished, will I never have the chance to see my happy children run around a house I bought?

I glanced at Kyo beside me and when our eyes meet, I see fear widen in his emerald orbs. We reach out, clasping each others hands as my uncle repeats his words.

"This is not a defect in the game, it is a feature of Sword Art Online."

I let the words sink in. Maybe this won't be as bad as I thought. What's in the real world that I can't do in this place? I can sample all types of food, meet all kinds of people, there is even a marriage system. My life wouldn't be pointless.

But as a feature? I would wish to see my parents once more, even if they weren't the most caring, they were still the ones who gave me life. I would miss them. But, here, I could be everything I have ever wanted to be.

I know most people won't feel the same as me. But when you have known your uncle all you life and he is working hard to build the world I stand in, you can't help but think of all the things I could be here. Here in this world of swords.

"You cannot log out of Sword Art Online yourselves. And no one from the outside can shut down or remove the NerveGear. Should this attempted, the transmitters inside the NerveGear will admit a powerful micro wave."

A couple of players shout accusations, How could this happen, they yell. I lower my head, I know what this means, if the NerveGear admitted that wave... It would...

"Destroying your brain and thus ending you life." His words have a sense of finality to them, no one can claim that he is lying.

"Unfortunately, several players' friends and family have ignored this warning and have attempted to remove the NerveGear."

I am not surprised. A lot of people will deny something you tell them, even if it is true. Kyo squeezes by hand as these virtual tears slide down my face.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to those lives, snuffed out of existence. But I know they don't care about my apologies.

"As a result, 213 players are forever gone; from both the real world and Aincrad." His words that uses to send me to sleep aren't so comforting anymore.

My uncle raises his hand again, and pop ups circle around him, clips from news articles all over the world.

"As you can see, news organisations around the world are reporting all of of this, including those deaths. Thus you can assume the danger is real."

His words just wash over me, my brain has turned apart of itself off and I can only stare at the horrors circling like some sick merry-go-round. I focus on a clip of a young girl, sobbing into her mother, as the mother also tries to hold in her tears.

What was I thinking? Of course this world is better in many ways but... But what about my parents, my grandparents, my cousins? How will they be thinking. Walking past the same hollow space that I took my first steps in, walking into school, seeing that void of desk that I used to smile in. How would it make them feel?

I am so selfish.

"I hope you will relax and attempt to clear the game, but I want for you to remember this clearly." His words start off too happy, but then turn sour at the end.

"There is no longer a way to revive anyone in the game. If your HP drops to zero, your avatar will be lost forever. And simultaneously, the NerveGear will destroy your brain."

He says it so...so carelessly. How could this man, the one that used to sneak me sweets from under my parents eye, make a game that murders it's players? And how could i, the closest one to him, not notice this. If I had, then this wouldn't be happening. And that's when I realise.

This is all my fault.

I have the lives of 213 people stained onto my soul. No matter what I do, that could never be washed away. But why would I want to wash this sin away? It was my fault. And I must bear it.

My hand tightens on Kyo's.

"There is only one way to escape, to complete the game. You are on the lowest floor of Aincrad, floor one. If you can make your way through the dungeon and defeat the floor boss, then you may advance to the next level. Defeat the final boss and you will clear the game."

He is lying. There is one more way to beat the game. But...but I will not let anymore players die because of my incompetence. I will do this myself.

Because it is my mission.

"Finally, I have added a present from me in your item inventory storage, please see for yourselves." In unison, me and Kyo open the inventory. It is a mirror.

I press the icon, holding my hands out to catch the mirror. At first glance, it looks like a regular mirror but when I look into my reflection, I see it is just an ordinary mirror.

But then I realize, for everyone else, it is something more. I watch as girl next to me morphs into a tall thin boy. It is returning everyone to what they looked like before.

Why didn't it happen to me? Why was I that small, pathetic browned haired girl again? The codes! One of them must have been to prevent the mirror working.

The the full force of my uncle's betrayal hits me in the face. And it hurts. Hurts unlike anything. And I don't even know why.

"Right now, you must be wondering, why? Why does Kayaba Akihiko, the developer of Sword Art Online and the NerveGear do all of this?" He addresses everyone again. "My goal has already been achieved. I created SAO for one reason; to create a word and intervene in it."

I know he is lying again. He may have lied about a lot of things, but this, his life's creation and his dream, they could have been done separately. And all the time he worked, he never said anything about this. He must be lying.

He has to be.

"And now, it is complete. This ends the official SAO launch. Good luck, players."

Then the cape starts drooping and then draws back up with the strings of red liquid. And the sky returns to it's original colour. It as if nothing happened. The plaza is deathly quiet, only the water from the nearby fountain can be heard.

Then the screams begin.

*


	4. Chapter 4

_**POV:Kayoko**_

Everything is silent. Our brains have stopped, trying to absorb the situation and to calm our beating hearts. Then the freeze holding our brain melts. And then everyone starts.

Some scream, some stand silent, tears running down their face, and some still can't move, their brains refusing to believe what my uncle just told us. This isn't just a game.

And then there are the people like me. The people who's brains take action. The people who clench their fists and move. Who make the best of this opportunity.

"Kyo!" I yell over the noise of everyone "Kyo!"

But his brain cannot except this so he just stands still, staring up at the expanse of the sky.

"Kyozo!" I squeeze his hand, begging for him to wake up. "Please..."

"Kayoko," And that's when I notice the flash of tears in his eyes. "Did you know about this?"

"No!" The question knocks me off my path. "Do you think I would let this happen!"

His silence is enough for me. Yes. Yes. Yes. His answer screeches in my mind. He thinks I would let this happen. If my best friend doubts me, what would happen if everyone knew. Knew I was that things niece?

They would hunt me, hurt me. Squeeze all the information out drop by drop until even my blood runs no more. I would die.

I don't know why I was so scared. In the real world, death is always behind you, waiting for that day when you will finally slip up. Death is the closest thing to all of us. So why was I so scared?

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's real anymore." his voice cracks and more tears bloom on his face.

I can't be angry at that. Even as much as I want to be. I can't be angry. But all this feeling is left, this disappointment than runs through my veins, weighing me down.

I take a deep breath, saying as neutrally as I can, "Ok, I guess this is where we say goodbye."

Then I turn, I turn my back on my friend because I know he doesn't want this. He doesn't want to be by my side anymore. I don't even blame him. I don't want to be me anymore either.

And I am running, running past all the players and leaving everyone behind. So I can save them all.

Only when I am half way through the town of beginnings does a message icon pop into existence in front of me. Something has been added to my inventory.

And this time, it isn't a mirror.

It is a note. I think a nagging part of my brain knows who it is from as I press to equip it. The paper floats into my hands my hands and I unfold it carefully.

I scan the words quickly, making sure no one is around. I can't let anyone see this note. Because if they know, they will kill me.

To my dear Niece,

I am sorry. I am sorry a million times over and I know this all seems rather abrupt and that now, you will be one of the players vying to kill me.

I can't explain my reasonings for doing this on a note, so I will offer you an alternative. I am in the game, find me and I will explain everything.

And if you can find it in your heart to kill me, find it in your heart to end my life, I promise the game will end.

Your uncle,

Kayaba Akihiko

I place the note back in the inventory, looking around again to make sure no one saw the note. No one must know.

"Kira!" Kyo's voice echoes round the enclosed streets. I curse under my breath. I pull the hood of my cloak over my head and run out, spotting Kyo. I make an X with my hands and place a finger over my lips. Then beckon him with my hands.

I lead him into a nearby alley, darkest and enclosed but it makes sure no one sees us. I finger the edge of my hood, pulling it back to reveal my face.

"I may not know what's real, but please don't say goodbye!" He stares into my eyes. "I won't ask any questions, I promise but don't leave me alone."

"Everything else in this world may not be real so let me offer something you can trust." I look down from his hot gaze but then I looked up again, sure ringing in my eyes.

"Promise I will end this game. Not by beating all 100 levels because I know another way. I promise I will end this game, not just for you but for everyone."

My mouth finds it difficult to shape the words at first, but then my resolve in my fists tightens.

"I will kill Kayaba Akihiko!" I vow "I will end this game for everyone so no one else has to die."

"I'll help." He holds his hand out to me, urging to to take it.

"But... You don't hate me?"

"I could never hate you, not after what you have done for me." his hand reaches for mine.

I take it, saying "Do you, Ryozo Katuo promise to help me kill Kayaba Akihiko?"

"And you, Kayoko Akahoshi promise to kill Kayaba Akihiko?"

"Memento promissum." we say in unison, joining hands and sealing our vow.

Memento Promissum

Remember your promises.

*


	5. Chapter 5

_**POV: Kayoko**_

2000\. 2000 people shattered into oblivion. 2000 people I couldn't save. 2000 people who died for nothing.

One month. One month leveling up, and limited resources and tense conversations between players. One month spent in this hell. And one month of no progress.

"I'm bored." I complain, folding myself onto the inn's bed's and resting my arm against my eyes.

"I'm bored of your complaining." Kyo replies from his chair with his menu open, sifting through all of his items. I think he did that yesterday.

"Well if you are organising your inventory, that proves you are bored. Don't tell me unnecessary information." I sit up from the bed, crossing my legs, placing my hand on my chin. "I'm so bored"

"Then go and level up or something." Kyo suggests, sighing heavily.

"But I have gotten as high as you can on this floor." I point out dryly.

"Then try and find the first floor dungeon."

"You think I haven't tried?" I stand up, pacing the small room. "It isn't in the same place as the beta test, or anywhere else I can think of."

"Heard that they were holding a meeting today about the first floor dungeon." Kyo closes his menu, stretching his hands out behind his head, following my pacing with his eyes.

"It probably won't be anything new."

Kyo gives me a look. "Fine but only if you go with me."

"What makes you think I'm interested?"

"You bought it up."

*

Me and Kyo walk into the meeting place; a collosum of all places. The beige stone arches above us, then circles to form seats, a couple of players dot each row, though not many. We take two of the seats at the back row, excluded from the other, bigger groups of players.

"Ok everyone, let's get started," A blue haired player introduces himself as Diabel and starts the meeting. I could tell he was one of those happy go lucky players who act like knights towards the people. I sigh as quietly as I can. This was going to be a long meeting.

I shifted my bum on the hard stone seat, impatient. Then Diabel says something that made me lean closer.

"We have found the first floor dungeon."

Then part of my brain tuned out the rest of the conversation, trying to remember the features of the first floor boss from the beta test and the model design.

Then a player with unnaturally spiky hair jumps up onto the stage, blurting out something about "beta testers are cheaters" and that they should "bow down and apologize for leaving them in the dust"

I clenched my fists. Because everything he said is true. I did leave everyone behind, and the results are 2000 lives shattered into oblivion. But I won't go down and apologize. I won't. I have my reasons and my mission. I won't let everyone down again.

Then someone else stands up, flicking a familiar books cover in the spiky hair's face. It is the book. The book I put together, with all the information I could think of. The book I poured hours into. No beta tester would ever know that much information.

Kyo glances over at me, giving me a look that says 'see? I told you so!'

"Shut up." I mouth, turning my head back towards the stage.

"Ok everyone, let's divide into groups of four!"

Suddenly, everyone has made friends and offers, forming their own groups. I curse under my breath. Then one player catches my eye, well two really.

One has a maroon cape cover their face, hiding their features. And the other, well he reminds me of someone. He has onyx eyes that skirt around the theatre and his hair is black, dipping in between his eyes.

"Hey, Kyo, is it me or do you think he looks like Kirito?" I point to the player down in the middle row.

"Yeah, I can kind of see where you are coming from." he told his head side ways thoughtfully.

He moves up several rows, toward the player sitting in the corner, and they seem to talk for a few minutes before I decide.

"Let's go and find out."

"Wait, Kira!"

I walk over to the second half of the seating area without waiting for Kyo.

"Hey Kirito!" I wave, smiling.

Kirito turns round for his conversation with the other player, staring at me for a second, blinking like a blind person without their glasses. "Kira?"

"Yep! Do you mind if we join your group?" I pointed over my shoulder to Kyo.

He looked at the other player, who curtly nodded before replying. "No."

Kirito opens his menu, offering me, Kyo and the other player into the group and we all select the round circle.

Above my heath bar, Kyo's, Kirito's and they other players heath bars appear under mine. And above the other players heath bar, it reads, Asuna.

I realise me and Kyo must look really weird standing up compared to everyone who is sitting down so I move to sit next to Asuna while Kyo sits beside Kirito.

There is a tense silence for a while before Diabel calls everyone to listen again. He starts to list off all of the things we currently know about the boss. And obviously since I wrote the book, I can almost mouth what he is saying.

So I close my mind off again.

"Ok everyone, let's meet at 10 and let's win!"

Everyone suddenly bursts into chatter, a few stand up, some leave. And before I know it, it is just me and Kyo.

"Oh but it probably won't be anything new." Kyo does a high, and not to mention bad impression on my voice.

"Ok...ok maybe I'm not bored anymore.

"I would be afraid if you were."

*

A day later, the forest we treck through is thick, full of foliage and greenery. The sunlight streams in between the tall trees, as me, Kyo, Kirito and Asuna, still wearing her cape, follow everyone else.

"Let's go over it again. We leftovers are supposed to target the boss's helpers." Kirito explains to Asuna as we walk.

"I know." Asuna replies bluntly. I think that is just the person she is though. Out of all the attempts I have made to talk to her, she hasn't been very open. At all.

"I'll use a sword skill to knock their pole axes up and then you switch in."

"Switch?"

"This is your first time working in a party!" I turn, walking backwards as I stare at her. She must be braver than I thought then. Or stupider.

"Yes." she nods, replying in that same dull tone.

Kirito stops walking, staring blankly at her, eyebrow raised.

"Come on, we will be left behind if we don't hurry up." Kyo gestures to us all to hurry up, ahead of me for once.

I glanced up as I walk, shielding my eyes from the glare of the sun. A raising Grey stone tower is opposing before us, the clouds clinging to it like a sort of mist. I assume that's where we are heading.

I groan. "I'm bored."

"And I'm Kyo, who's going insane from the amount of times you have said that sentence!" Kyo waves his arms at me, sighing heavier than me.

"I'm hungry." I moan.

"We could be dying soon and that's all you can think of?" He droops.

"Sorry." I drag the word out, bored out of my mind as we walk. I start thinking about the boss we are going to face but it is already engrained into my head.

After a lot more moaning, groaning and a couple of dungeon crawlers getting in our way, we eventually find the large curved wooden door that leads to the boss room. Torches the size of a person rage at each side, giving the 100 or so grouped players light.

Diable slams is sword into the rock floor. I can imagine this long awful speech he is going to give but he only says a couple of words.

"Listen up everyone, I am only going to say one thing, let's win!"

Everyone has determination etched into their faces as he says the words. Not only am I looking forward to win but I am also after the last attack bonus drop which is this sweet coat.

"Let's go!" The player places his hand on the door and it swings open automatically, spreading the dungeon room out before us.

It is just a large dark room at first, only the light from the torches to guide us. Up ahead, between all the collums sits the boss, his throne a curved shape and his weapons leaning against it. His crimson eyes glowed in the darkness.

Then the room starts to take on a rainbow hue, the walls of the outside reminding me of the rainbow reflection of washing up soap, the way it swirls into different shades from each colour.

Suddenly, the boss leaps over to us, the impact of his fall sending a blast of wind that sweeps my hair upwards. It extends to his full height in front of us, his red devilish skin and blue tattoo on his belly standing out as he roars his greeting.

The four green bars scroll upwards at the top. Tiny blue glows of data glow at his feet, the minions materialising one by one.

They run at us and we run back, charging our sword skills as this turns into an all out battle. The clanging of sword against sword fills the air and shouts from Diable keep us in line.

"Keep the minions off us!" Diable orders us, his blue hair swaying as he turns his head, yelling at squad A and B to switch again.

"Roger," I yell back mock saluting as Kirito knocks the club of the minion with his own sword, shouting "switch!"

Before I can move, Asuna steps in, her sword movements so fast I can only follow the billowing if her cape as she moves, shattering them into the blue crystals as she strikes.

"Come on, leave some for me!" I joke, striking my sword skill at the next one of them that leaps my way. As the shards of data swim around me, the boss roars. His health bar reaching it's lowest, about to draw the weapon that will be it's final plea.

"Stand back," diable walks forward, the crowd of players ready to swarm around it as our final attack. "I'll go."

No one stops him as he jogs forward. His sword skill he charges is bright yellow, wings forming from his blade. It looks like a phoenix ready to strike and bring hope to those people stick in the town of beginnings.

But instead, the boss draws a different weapon, one different to the beta test. How could a weapon ment for floors above us be here? But all I could worry about is the life of Diable, still unaware of the danger he is in.

"No!" me and Kirito yell in unison.

"Jump back as far as you can!" Kirito finishes but I just stare at him.

He was in the beta?

There is no time to think about that now, as the boss uses one of the nearby stone collum as a jumping platform, launching himself off. He catches another one and descends mercilessly apon Diable, making a large slash diagonally across his body.

This suddenly doesn't feel like game anymore.

*


	6. Chapter 6

_**POV: Kayoko**_

This isn't happening. Not happening. It is not happening. This cannot be happening.

And to think, I had somehow convinced myself that this was...was normal. To be stuck in this game was nothing but reality. But there is the real world out there, somewhere if only we can reach high enough, to that 100th floor.

Or we can reach downwards towards despair and loss and pain. Kill for this to end. Stain your soul to unstained theirs.

"I will kill Kayaba Akihiko!"

Where was that resolve, that urge that ran so deep. After just a month of this game, I felt so numb, like no emotions where there other than this.

But there it was, knocking it's wrinkled hand against my brain. This fear...and this numbness.

I couldn't feel anything as the beast roared again, louder this time, defining in my ear. Kirito is running past me, towards Diable towards one flickering life.

"Why did you try and do it alone" he scolds crouching, taking out the red bottle that could have his life. But he stops it, weakly catching Kirito's hand.

He says something I can't catch over the desperate wails of swords and all I can think, all I can do is watch. Watch as he dies. They continue to talk, and if it were me, I would shove the potion down his throat.

Not is anger. Disappointment. Disappointment in myself. It roiled in my gut like a snake, curling around my organs and squeezing tight. And I want it out.

And still I watch. I watch as his body crystallizes and shatters into dust on the wind. It is pretty, the way people die in this game. The rainbow of colours and hues, each a slightly different shade.

The utter sense of helplessness of everybody's faces is engraved into my mind and they way the look, it is as if everyone just wants to give up.

I turn to Kyo and what I see painted on his face isn't pain, or that wanting to end you life, but determination, and I see it on Kirito's face as I have at him too.

He stands up and turns towards the boss, determined and strong and sure. Asuna slips beside him, Kyo soon after.

My sword is cool against my palm as I grip it tightly, completing the party. I nod at the three of them.

"Thank you." The black haired boy gives a faint smile.

And we run.

We rush as four, swords low beside our thighs. Asuna's cape, somehow intact, makes straight line as she runs.

"We will do it just like the sentinels." Kirito's voice is low, commanding.

"Ok." Asuna's voice is as cold and unassuming as ever. And a small smile creeps its way onto my face. Of the normalcy of it, like we aren't just charging into battle.

The beast crouches, charging is sword skill in a burst of light, Kirito charging is own in return. And they connect, the beast flying back long enough for Asuna, with her speed, to fly in with a yell of "Switch!"

But something about his demeanor is different this time, and he is ready for her attack. She will die. Panic raises in me as I sprint towards the boss, not caring about the danger, just this life that is flickering.

"Asuna!"

But she leaps back, with all the grace of a ballerina, narrowly missing her body and ripping her cape instead. Coppery long hair falls out, half braided and a couple of shades lighter than Kyo's.

Her eyes are brown as I gaze into them but we don't say anything as we strike together.

"Hey Kirito, Kyo!" I call, focusing my attention on yelling and fighting at the same time "I know we are bad ass and all but you know sitting on the floor PROBABLY ISNT HELPING!"

Kyo is the first to recover, taking the next hit of the long, triangular sword, Asuna hitting next, Kirito taking the next blow from the blade and me last until we fall into a pattern.

Then Kirito messed up or the boss evolved or whatever, I didn't care. But the same diagonal slash now sat along Kirito's middle, knocking him into Asuna as both of their swords clattered against the floor.

"Oh look it must be an illness." I say after I glance up at my monitor and see that Kirito's health bar is still green. Green is good.

Then the dark shadow of the boss looms over them and i run, but I know, deep in my heart I won't make it. Won't make it in time. And I hate this feeling, the feeling of being so...worthless.

And I know it is too late.

In that instant everything stops, but everything is slow and fast all at the same time. My brain can't comprehend this, deaths in a virtual world. Deaths that could have been prevented if I had just been...been...I don't know what I could have done to stop this.

But I should have done something.

Asuna raises her rapier against the red glow of the boss's sword but green one intercepts it as a loud clang echoes off his hammer. The guy who stood up for the beta testers stands between them and I breath all the tension out of my chest.

Then everyone rushes, like at the beginning when we were all full of hope and possibly.

"We will hold them off until you recover." his deep voice booms as he sprints towards everyone else. Each player attacks fiercely.

All of a sudden the beast jumps, knocking them to the ground and sending a gust of air my way. I can do this. I grip my sword one last time.

"Watch out!" Kirito is up again before I can tell him to stay, to recover. The two figures, one a boy clothes in black and the other a malicious beast meet in the middle, as Kirito screams "I'll get you first!"

A warning and a promise to everyone. This was his kill. Everyone had better back off. So, for a reason I could not say, I watched as Kirito took the blow of his triangluar sword.

Like arguing cats, they fight with tooth and nail and sword. A huge crash resonates against the marble floor as they come crashing down, Kirito rolling as he lands, nimble and ready.

"Asuna!" Still running as he shouts, "One last hit, we will do it together."

"Roger!" Her voice is livelier now, like that cape had covered her now sparkling personality, surpressed it.

"We are still here you know!" Kyo drawls as he begins to join them. I reach out, shaking my head.

"He asked for Asuna to do it," I say lowly, so no one could here "maybe we should stay out of it."

I expect a reaction but Kyo stays silent as be stands as still as death beside me, ready to spring into action at any moment.

They are a living flames as they run, Asuna the bright and burning fire and Kirito the blackened ashes. One cannot exist without the other.

It is like the sentinels, they way they will slay this thing, the endless Patten now drawn into each of our brains. Slashing and slicing, with the roars of pain defining in the echoing cold tomb.

Until Kirito lands a strike that slices, almost cutting the boss in half. For Diable. For those 2000 people who have shattered. For all those who are still intact. That's why he slices.

In a burst of light, the boss is gone shattered into wherever they disappear to, disposal like dolls.

There is no sound other than heavy breathing, caught by shock and frozen from fear.

And then the screams begin.

Not in fear or desperate need. But the screams for triumph, the screams your lips can only create when they are glad they can still move, still release the breaths from your lungs.

A faint smile dances on my lips before everything really sets in. Then the smiles twists and turns as the cheers of everyone errupted all at once. Like the music to it's dancing

The cry of the living.

The congratulations in front of me is something I never thought I would be so grateful for, so happy about.

"Hey, good work." I lift my fist to Kyo's shoulder, punching him lightly.

"Ouch!" He smiles too, not his infamous one, the one that makes girl's legs turn into jelly but one of true happiness. "That hurt!"

"You don't feel pain in a game, silly!" I turn walking over to Kirito's crouched form.

"You did good too." giving him an equally light punch on top of his midnight black hair.

I brush the white notification as it pops up aside, walking over to Asuna giving her a slight nudge as well. "Hey, well done!" She glances as me carefully. "Asuna, right?"

She nods before I say "I'm Kira, hope we can be friends." she smiles a little at that and I feel her cold shell starting to break.

"This victory belongs to you." the dark toned man says. I wish I knew his name, I must have tuned my brain out when he introduced himself. Now I wished I hadn't.

"No..." He mummers but I can barely hear him as congratulations and clapping is pushed on him.

"Why?" It is the player with the spiky hair, his name eluding me as well, lingering at the back of the group.

"Why did you let Diable die?"

*


	7. Chapter 7

_**POV: Kayoko**_

"Why?" The player cries from the back, on his knees. "why did you let Diable die?"

I freeze beside Asuna, my brain still, neutrally empty. I cant bear to think about it. Looking back, if I hadn't watched, shoved that healing potion down his throat, and for gone whatever he was taking about.

Everyone is quiet beside me, murmurs snatched in between the silence.

"A beta tester." Is all I hear in my ears. I would trade anything to just be a beta tester. Just a person be knew a smidge of knowledge than everyone else.

"She is one too!" The voices that were once happy and sweet turn bitter and sour. Why does this have to be such a bad thing? What is the difference?

I stare blankly at the player that points at me, daring him to say it again, tell me that his death was all my fault. Tell me something I don't know I want to mutter but it is Asuna that steps in front of me.

"They helped us defeat the boss." Her voice is calm and level but the stele in her eyes cannot be matched, even by my stare.

Kyo nods along side Asuna "What does it matter?"

I take a deep breath, drawing calmness through my body. But it seems that Kirito has other ideas as he breaks the silence. He laughs, like this situation was...funny... well in some ways it was but we have to convince them we didn't betray them.

If I had any idea that the boss was going to draw that blade then I wouldn't have stayed at the back. He slowly gets up, his outfit blending into the darkness of the room, wobbling from side to side.

"A beta tester!" I make a slicing movement across my neck as subtly as I can to shut him up.

Don't. I urge him to shut his mouth.

Clearly ignoring me, he continues in his now manic voice "I wish you wouldn't compare me to those newbies! Most of the 1000 beta testers were beginners who didn't know how to level up. You are much better than them!"

When he says the words, somehow, I think that this will be okay. Kirito is just correcting them, and reassuring them we didn't lie to them. Everything was going to be okay.

I have never been so wrong.

He walks forwards, towards the spiked haired player, the crowd parting for him. I stare at his back as he says with a hint of malice in his voice,

"But I am not like them. I made it higher than anyone else in the beta test, the reason I know the bosses skills is because I have fought enemies with katana skills high above us."

I want to scream at him "stop" but the words are stuck in my throat, I would have to choke on the word just to make him stop. Can he see that he is just making this worse?

"I know a lot more than any information broker!"

But not more than me.

Then I realize what he is doing. Making them hate him to feel something for Diable's death because he feels responsible. Then the other reason hits me in the face.

To save me.

To save me for experiencing their hate. And I realize that if they had continued to interrogate me, it would have come out sooner rather than later that I was the niece of the creator. He had saved me more than he realized.

"Beta Tester!" The spiked haired players yells, though even for this distance I can tell it is just bravado. "You are even worse than them, You are a cheater, That's what you are!"

"A Beater!" The name makes me smile a bit, the daftness of it. If Kirito is a Beater, then what am I? Something in me doesn't want to know.

"Beater..." Kirito pauses for a bit, as if mulling it around in his brain like a wine, "I like it." He flicks his write in that familiar fashion to call up his menu, equipping the Black coat with a swish of it's fabric on the floor.

Somehow, the drop doesn't look as appealing to me anymore.

"That's right, I am a beater, from now on don't confuse me with the other Beta testers."

Then with a swish of his coat, he walks towards the stairs, Asuna following swiftly behind.

"A beater huh?" Kyo sidles up to my frozen form, crossing his arms over his chest, then whispering in my ear, "I wonder what that makes you?"

"A niecer?" I joke, but it feels somewhat half hearted.

Then a notification swings into view, and on further inspection, Kirito has disbanded our group. I bite my lip, hesitating, before I equip my own awesome exit cape, tugging the hood over my head before I say to Kyo,

"I'll meet you later."

"Kirito!" I cry, panting for the rush I made up the sprawling staircase, leaving Asuna and Kyo down below as little stick figures. I swipe the hood of my face. "Thank you!"

He turns around, his new coat swishing, confusion dancing in those onyx eyes, "What for?"

Somehow, after everything, I manage to smile, saying "For covering for me, I guess, I mean we're both Beta Testers, we've got to look out for each other." I walk up a bit further, giving him one of my signature punches of his arm "So thanks!"

"No problem." His voice is flat as he turns towards the door, faltering for a minute before speaking again "Hey, Kira, can you promise me something?"

"Depends what your asking," I narrow my eyes, "If it is skip around in a Tutu, I am okay, really."

A faint smile graces his lips, a ghost of one, but better than nothing "Promise me you will survive this, okay?"

"I promise, but you must keep my request too." A frown creases his browns as continue "Remember other players, don't do this all on your own, there are limits to what you can do as a solo player, Ok?"

He turns away before mumming, flat and monotone "Sure."

"Now we shake hands and say memento promissum," He gives me a questioning look. "Just do it!" I say hotly.

I grasp his hand from his side, placing it in mine, and shake the limp hand. "Memento promissum!"

He just gapes at me blindly, lips not forming the words.

"Come on!" I sigh loudly "Just do it, please..."

"Fine."

HIs hand is firmer this time, not as much like a dolls as before, as we shake our hands, our voices joining into one symphony as we say, "Memento promissum!"

Memento promissum.

Remember your promises.

*


	8. Chapter 8

_**POV: Kayoko**_

A couple of months after you have been stuck in a virtual reality game with swords, your arms get a bit tried after swinging them around for hours on end.

"Kyo!" I call from the other side of the rock field, waving my hand in the air. "Wanna head back to the inn?"

It had been like this everyday really, training, eating, sleeping, more training. We have tried to stay away from the front lines though, not wanting a whole repeat of the beater and the niecer incident.

Not saying that we have been slacking off, we have been doing the exact opposite of that in fact, training and raising our levels the best we can.

"Yeah sure," Kyo saunters over with his usual swagger, bow swung over his shoulder and knife hanging out of his other hand.

"Any results?" I ask flatly, stretching my arms out, the bones cracking with a sickening click.

"Kyozo Katuo reporting for duty," He stands straight, giving me a mocking salute. "Currently at level 45, Commander Kira!"

I give him a lazy salute back with a small smirk, "Commander Kira still beats you Cadet Kyozo."

"What level?" He says dryly

"You buy dinner and I will tell you!"

Our inn is placed in a quieter part of town 26 and in a floor above us, planning for the storming of floor 27 could be taking place. The sun is setting as we wave through the crowds, the street lights only just beginning to glow.

"So where are we going?" Kyo questions, his voice riddled with annoyance.

"I don't know, your paying." I shrug.

"I don't know how I have lived with you for 6 months."

We stop our conversation as we head to the nearest of the identical restaurants found all over the game world, each selling the same type of food. I sighed. At least it wouldn't burn the bank.

I choose the table the furthest away from everyone else, right in the corner of the wooden building, lit with candles, bodies of players casting a shadowy light over the wood.

As we sit down, the notification lights up, asking for what we want to eat. I push the thing over to Kyo with a flick of my finger and he raises his eyebrows, stiffening an eye roll.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Cake," I mumble, my jaw moving against the hand that holds it, elbow on the table.

"But you can't eat cake, you had cake yesterday!"

"Well I will have a strawberry cake this time rather than a chocolate one okay, Cadet Kyozo?"

A heavy sigh escapes him as he picks the cake I wanted, then whatever he wants and pays, the food spawning with a flash of blue light.

This is the reason me and Kyo don't tend to cook, like at all. Maybe cooking here isn't as complicated, but it is still a big hassle. Plus you don't have to wait.

I dig my soon into the vanilla cake, the white chocolate icing melting into bliss on my tongue. The red strawberry sits at the top part of the cake, which I deliberately avoid until the rest of the cake is done.

No sooner after I had finished shoving the first spoonful of cake into my mouth does Kyo ask impatiently, "What level are you then?"

I force myself to swallow the heavenly desert before I wanted to, smiling before saying low under my breath. "Fifty."

"A whole five levels ahead!" he leans back in his chair, the wood groaning, trying to take his weight. "We might actually have to go to the front lines then tomorrow."

"Nah," I spoon another piece of cake off the main body, pointing the spoon at Kyo before I speak. "The dungeon of floor 26 would be better, I heard that there were still enemies spawning there."

"I agree with the red head, the front lines would be hell, after all the ALS guild just got completely annihilated." A player with dark red hair take the chair next to Kyo, a scraping sound only emphasising the silence around the table.

Me and Kyo exchange looks before I rest my free hand casually on my sword, gripping it tightly. This has happened once before, when a player offered for us to join their guild and when we said no, a fight broke out.

Let's juts say it didn't end well with those guild members.

"Oh sorry, how rude of me, I haven't introduced myself." To be honest, I don't care what his name is, only how much of a threat he could be if we refused his up coming offer.

"My name is Keita, the leader of a small guild called the Moonlit Black cats and we are wanting to level up and so are you."

I stare at his health bar again, seeing the emblem hovering. It had a light blue background with a yellowish moon and a squiggle but I couldn't work out what it was supposed to be.

"So would you like to partner up with us, just for a short while, while we all level up," He smiles at both of us. "Then you can leave anytime you wish"

Me and Kyo glance at each other again and I force myself to take a bite of the forgotten cake on the spoon. It tastes like ask and soot in my mouth as I swallowed.

"I can see that you need to think about it first, if you want to join us meet us at the teleport for the 26th dungeon and we can kill some enemies!" I watched his back as he leaves, his guild mates following behind him from a different table.

As stare at my cake, the strawberry suddenly doesn't look as nice. Standing up, I thro throw the contents of the plate into the bin, muttering.

"Well that was a waste of a perfectly good cake!"

*

 _ **POV: Kyo**_

I watch as Kayoko throws the cake in the bin, blue shards floating up from the lid as she huffs and sits down again, resting her hand on her chin.

"Hey! I paid for that!"

She gives me a look that says 'shut up'. I shovel more of my curry into my mouth, the spice warming my tongue as I mull the words swirling in my head. How do I say them without offending her?

it is not like I can just say 'Yeah Kira, I want to join a guild and actually hang out with other people because I am bored with talking to you.'

Well, maybe it is not quite like that but I don't know how to put it into words... I guess I just want to have someone else to talk other than Kira. I miss interacting with Other people rather than avoiding them like we have to now.

My mouth dries as I say lower than before "What do you think of his offer?"

She lifts her head, eyebrows raised, "You want to accept it?"

"Well..." I struggle for words.

"You do, don't you?"

"Aren't you tired of it just being us? And this is our chance to make some friends and actually help other people!" My fork clanks on the plate as I drop it.

Kira slams her hand on the table, the sound echoing in the loud inn. Eyes dart around to us, baring in our backs like cuts of a knife. But her words are more damaging as she hisses them in my ear,

"If you go, I go! Because I couldn't live with myself if someone hurt you because you are close to me!" She stands to leave, chair scrapping, sound grating in my ears. "Because I'm his niece."

A snake roils in my gut with guilt as the door to the inn slams shut, glasses of the bar rattling with the force of the slam. I stand up as well, chucking the curry into the bin before leaving, shutting the door with a click.

I wish I could slam it.

*

 _ **POV: Kayoko**_

Each step I take away from Kyo feels wrong, but along with each echo of the stone in the night the rage in my veins fades. Of course I understand how is feeling, and I want to say yes. Want but cant.

If they discover who I am, who's blood runs through my veins, it is not me who I am worried about. They can do what ever they want with me, and maybe I deserve it for everyone who is dead. It is Kyo I worry for, what they could do with him.

It is march now in the real word and the cold would be biting against my skin, but instead, the muggy heat coats my skin instead. I met Kyo on a bitter day like that.

I give myself a little shake, then I am running, a type of flying over the ground. To experience this speed, this kind of freedom, it only exists here, here were physics can be told to go away with a middle finger.

A smile spreads over my lips as I equip my sword mid stride, the red metal and silver lining glinting. Metal swirls around the handle and the red gem set in the middle adorns the hilt, the beautiful craftsmanship I spotted about 6 floors down; there are so many floors it is hard to remember.

Two hands raise the sword as I swing it and the red sword skill sends one of the scattered trees toppling down with a resonating crash. At the destruction, I smile and lift the sword once again.

It is much later as I return to our room, tired and unwilling to talk. But that was what I was hoping for as I walked out of that inn, a chance to calm down and think about it. I make the creak of the door obvious as I enter, wanting Kyo to know I am there.

"Kira!" He starts but I stop him with my hand.

"Tomorrow, we go with the moonlight black cats to join their gulid for however long we want but I have two conditions that we must follow," He nods in confirmation.

"1) No one must know who I am; if they even drop one hint, we leave." That is the one I am less worried about, but the second, I know Kyo wont like it. He hates lying.

"2) We have to keep our true levels a secret."

Kyo purses his lips, bottling the protests inside because he knows it is even a development that I am even agreeing to this. "You have to understand Kyo, if we tell them our true level, then questions will be asked and at some point it will come out who I am."

"Then we will have to lie and I know how much you hate that so, this is the compromise, Okay?"

I could always leave him, but even the thought make he shudder. Yes I would miss him but having someone who knows who I am is a relief. Having someone who knows everything about me and doesn't want to hunt me.

"Okay."

*


	9. Chapter 9

_POV: Kayoko_

"Remind me why we are here?" I sigh, wiping the virtual sweat off my brow as the sun continues to attack me and Kyo in the middle of the day.

"To join the Moonlit Black cats, obviously." He crosses his arms over his chest, staring at the warp portal where guild should have appeared about half an hour ago.

"If they don't turn up in five minutes, let's just go to the dungeon before all the bosses disappear." I say impatiently, tapping my foot whilst I glance at the other player loitering around.

Then the portal shines with light and brown armoured player known as Keita emerges with four other colour themed players behind him.

"Hey, see you two turned up." Keita waves at us from the wrap portal.

"Hey back." Kyo says back

"Nice for you to turn up!" I add sarcastically.

Keita laughs, apologises and begins to introduce the four other players. There are three boys, dressed in yellow, green and purple and a girl who looks eerily familiar, as if I have seen her before. I brush the suspicions aside, trying to listen to the introduction.

"My name's Keita, I'm guild leader. This's Tetsuo," He gestures to the tall purple player who smiles at me. "Who is one of our forwards."

Tetsuo and Keita, I will remember these name this time. I glance at the blue player again, scanning her over and over, trying to figure out where I have seen her before.

"We don't have another forward so hopefully, one of you two can fill this position." He continues, introducing the green armoured player next. "This is Sasamaru, our damage dealer and ou-"

The yellow themed player gives Keita a little shove and says "Sorry for boring you, I'm Ducker and I'm a treasure hunter."

"So a thief?" Kyo raises his eyebrows.

"A treasure hunter." Ducker corrects with a finger.

"Anyway," Keita coughs pointedly. "Our other teammate is also a damage dealer."

I glace again at the player hiding behind the other four players, the shortened black hair and green eyes snagging at my mind. Where have I seen here before? But when Keita says her name, I insanity know who it is.

And it changes a lot of things.

"Her name's Sachi."

No. No. No. No. No. This is bad. Very very bad. If I am right, if, then being in this guild is as dangerous as being at the front lines. If not more so. Because, if I am right, and Sachi is who I think she is, then she knows who I am.

Because if I am right, Sachi's real word name is Saki.

If the girl who kissed Kyo all those months ago is the same as the one standing in front of me, and she figures out that Kyo and Kyozo is the same person, it will not end up well.

Then she can put two and two together to find out that the red haired girl who is at level 50 is the same as that pathetic girl who she bullied to get a copy of the game off her uncle. The one who trapped her and 10,000 other players in this game.

And the one who is responsible for the deaths of 2000 players.

The world seems to spin and a sick feeling rose in my throat, begging for release but I wouldn't give the feeling one inch.

"My name's Kyo and I'm a damage giver." I focus on the familiar sound of his voice, willing the worry to dissolve from my bones.

"Kira. I'm a forward." I try to keep my voice from vibrating. And Kyo notices this as well, switching his gaze to me for a second. Suddenly, my nickname is far too much like my real life one, Kyo's even more so.

Keita and Co don't notice my worry as the leader says "That's great! If you don't mind me asking, what level are you at." He drops his voice to a low murmur. "We're all around level 20"

"Me and Kyo are around level 25." I drop my voice is dropped to his level as well.

"That is amazing for just the two of you," His voice is wowed before he changes the subject. "Are you going to join the guild?"

Kyo opens his mouth but I cut him off "We will go with you to the dungeon and we will think about it after."

"Okay, well, Let's go!"

Sakura blossoms hover over the seven of us as we make our way over to the dungeon, the river next to the path swirling lazily around the bend. The boys pound on ahead, talking about whatever boys talk about, leaving me and Sachi.

Or Saki.

My anxiety worsens as the silence between us stretches like the path in the distance. I can't work out whether she is just shy here, or she has figured out my identity.

What makes this so worrying is that the Saki that I knew in that world may not be the same as the one walking next to me. People change when they experience something they would rather forget, not to mention the fact that people like to become people they wish they were here online.

That is why I was looking forward to the release over six months ago, to have a chance to relive everything, to be who I wasn't in the real world. But now, I would take anything to be back there, to stop those images of people shattering when I close my eyes.

I have changed. Kyo has changed. Maybe Saki has changed too.

But as much as I want to cut her some slack, I also don't particularly want to be friends either. Her lips pressed against Kyo's is something I want to wipe from my brain.

And if she finds out that Kira is the same as Kayoko... I shiver at the thought.

Sachi knocks me out of my thoughts, saying quietly "Hey Kira,"

"Yes?"

"Do you ever feel scared of fighting in this game?"

I falter but I manage to say more confidently than I feel "Sometimes, but I think that being scared is a good thing," I turn towards the black haired girl, fragile beside me. "You shouldn't let the fear of what could happen make nothing happen."

The girl doesn't say anything back; conversation over then. The silence continues as we continue to walk, the towering column raising into the blue sky.

"Kira!" Kyo calls from the group of boys, waving me over. "It is true that I once pulled of a level 30 sword skill?"

I run over snorting at his claim, which is true but I also drawl "It is also true that you once stabbed yourself through with your own sword."

"What!?" Ducker exclaims.

"It is true!"

"That was an accident!" Kyo protests, hands surrendering as we enter the stone arc of the dungeon, silence falling over the seven of us again.

Steps echo in the dim light as we all equip our weapons. I choose a lower level sword than before, the blade blackened like ash with lingering fire colours dancing off the blade. Hopefully, it should allow me to hid my level and the sword can only allow me to equip a lower level sword skill.

I clutch the sword tightly as we reach a circle in the pathway where it splits off into four directions, each corridor darkened so that we cannot see ahead.

It is too silent, even if we are the only ones in this dungeon there should be some other sound, anything other than this ringing silence. Me and Kyo share a glance at each other before I say

"We shouldn't be here." I say, low and warning.

A growling sounds, vibrating and echoing until the growl is all I can hear around us. A white creature prowls from each passageway, pink round petals dotted on their fur. The wolf stares back at me, cobalt eyes shining with in the dusk.

"Sakura Wolves." I mummer, recalling the situation that inspired the design.

"Uncle?" I asked, tilting my head at the pinkish petals that had fallen along the road, "You said you were struggling for designs for the game."

"Yes? Why were you wondering?" He tilted his head as well, this time examining me rather than the petals.

"How about a Sakura petal floor? " I smiled up at him again "Like a wolf that can transform into floating petals, for a mid level boss."

"Come on, let's go." Uncle grabbed my hand from where it reached for the petal, the satin now clutched in my hand.

"Wait!" I cried "Where are we going?"

That day was the first day I became involved with programming of the game, the Sakura wolf being one of the many I began to create and it was also the day I became responsible of the deaths of 2000 players and what I could have prevented.

I am frozen, enthralled by their stare, losing myself within the depths of blue eyes. I want to erase my touch from this game, like it never existed but I don't want to destroy all of those sleepless nights and effort.

Then they leap towards us with strength I programmed and I cannot do anything as they dissolve into cherry blossom petals around us.


	10. Chapter 10

_POV:Kayoko_

"Move!" I am shouting as one of the petals floats past me to rest on my face.

"I heard about these from an information broker,"

"They're Sakura Wolves, their special ability is to dissolve into petals then attack while the player is blinded."

"Then we just have to stay together." Keita calmly says, whilst he examines the area behind him.

A white blur suddenly comes together behind the guild leader and I am moving towards it, charging a sword skill without thinking.

"Behind you!" He whirls but it is too late as the wolf reaches out its paws, mid air.

I knock it aside with my sword skill, the system taking over my movements as I strike it again and again.

Anger soars. How many players had my designs killed already? If I had known... if...

"Kyo!"

"Roger."

Kyo doesn't hesitate as he knock the wolf further away, the white body scrapping against the dungeon floor and a satisfying yelp sounds.

Then, in practised unison, we draw our sword apon my creation. Mixture of blue crystals fly around us as I turn back to the Moonlit Black Cats.

They stare. Just stand there and stare at me and Kyo. We just pulled something way off what our levels allow.

I take a deep breath, still scanning the space around us. Each sprite transforms into a cluster of exactly 64 petals, if I remember correctly.

And if my counting is correct, there are still five wolves left.

"If you want to live, listen to me," They all glance back at Keita, who nods. "We stand back to back, lessen the chance we get caught off guard."

"Try and have a damage giver and then a forward." Kyo adds whilst we get into position

"One knocks the wolf aside and the other attacks. The odd one out stands in the middle and alerts everyone on the enemies location."

With Kyo one side and Keita the other, we circle slowly, steps careful, swords out like we are a deadly fan.

"In front of Kira!" Ducker shouts from inside our deadly fan.

The wolf peers at me, colbolt eyes full of hate. Was that always there, the hate? But I have no time to think about that now as its paws spring towards my face.

With the flat of his blade, Kyo swats the beast away like a fly, then steps back into the circle.

"Keita it's all yours." I tick my head towards the dazed creature and as he moves to attack, I guard his spot, ready.

Petals still fall around us as the next wolf shatters, then the next, until there are only another two left of the pack.

"Sachi!" Ducker warns the blue haired girl, the animal teleporting just side to her face, flattening her to the ground.

"Don't break the circle!" I press my arm to keita's chest as he advances to help. "Kyo. take my place."

Then I dash fast, pulling and slashing the wolf of the struggling Sachi.

Her eyes are wide, heath bar heading towards the red as she pants. Her sword is shaking violently as she grips it tight.

"Hurry Sachi!" I holler at her "We need to move."

She opens her mouth to say something, moves her hands to get up but her fear gets the better of her.

"NOW!"

I give her no reason to disobey and I don't care if it means her hates me, I had to. To save one life out of the 10000; it was better than nothing.

Then we are moving, heading back towards the circle, to safety but the wolf is up, reaching in one desperate attempt.

And it succeeds.

Sachi shifts her weight from side to side, before tumbling to the ground.

And that is when everything falls apart.

"Sachi!" Keita is rushing towards us before I can tell him not to and the other two follow, leaving Kyo alone.

Ducker swings his hammer, shoving the animal aside until it shatters into nothingness.

"What the hell!" I scream, losing my leached temper "Do you even want to live?"

Panic holds me in a tight grip as I recall one detail. One detail that changes everything. And leaves Kyo in great danger.

The wolves target lone players and take them back to the rest of the pack.

Then I am up, so fast, I stumble and I cry out to my friend,

"Look out!"

The petals hover, then starts to swirl suddenly around Kyo and I am so desperately trying to be there.

I cannot be late again.

I am about a metre away when the petals grow thicker, until Kyo is forcing his hand through the shield, yelling my name.

And I have reached a new level of desperation, I don't even care that my sword skill is too strong or what I am yelling, it is just me and Kyo and the danger of the petals.

I reach for his hand, feeling the tips of his fingers around mine before I fall to my knees in nothing but air.

And I am yelling his name, over and over but knowing I am, again, too late. I am forever late.

"Kyozo!"

 _POV: Sachi_

I don't know what send shock spiraling into my veins more; the name, how she yells it and what she does next.

"Kyozo!" Her voice is a record that has splintered, repeating the same phrase. Desperate, needing riddling her cries.

Her hands shake as she brings them up to her face, as if to check this is real. This is happening.

There should be tears streaming down her cheeks. Tears, warm and salty dancing and intersecting into rivers in her eyes, falling into oblivion.

Kira is too strong for those tears to show. The red head just clutches her arms round her waist, holding, grasping, stoping herself together.

"Kyozo," Her voice had shattered, the word she forced out through the shards of glass is rough. Sharp.

I know that name. I know that name as sure as I know my own. Know it as the boy I sat in front of ever since I can remember.

The boy that causes my heart to beat at such pace, it shouldn't be possible. But it is. Love makes the heart to take the pressure the quickening beats.

The boy that was now most likely dead.

I refuse to believe they are one in the same person. Besides, if they were Kayoko would be with him.

Kayoko who has riches, a bright smile and the only boy I could ever want stuck under her thumb.

The girl who has everything.

And the niece to the monster to trapped us in the game. And the niece who couldn't even bother to warn us.

Kira doesn't look a bit like Kayoko; red hair, striking blue eyes, opposite to Kayoko's brown skin, eyes and hair. Kira is strong, powerful and Kayoko was shy, weak and pathetic.

Kira manages to struggle to her feet, swaying from side to side before stabilizing herself; both physically and emotionally.

"Let's go." She flatly says before walking back the way we came.

Keita protests "What about Kyo?" the others nod with what he is saying, though I stand as still as death.

"We can go and resuce him."

Kira doesn't bother turning around before replying bitterly

"To resuce what? A corpse?" Something that sounds like a laugh mutates in her throat.

"Get it into your heads, Kyo is dead."

Then she is off, a storm of death following suit after her. Though as she breaks into a run, I swear a single sliver of a silver tear run down her face for her friend.

Now forever gone.

 _POV: Kayoko_

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Every step echoes with the word, my soul rejection to the world, to destiny. I want to shout it. Scream it. Until everyone could hear the pain and the suffering.

Until I could drown out the single tear on my face.

A single tear. Is that all my friend was worth? A single tear filled to the brim of memories, over flowing from the sheer emotion contained in that one drop.

One beast makes it final mistake, jumping out to attack me. Filling out all my anger into my sword skill, I swing it in one long slash.

I am swimming in blue and red, my blade one arc of blood redemption, leaving blue luminous squares and triangles.

I wonder if death hurts here. Do you feel the electrical strike of that snake coil of electricity that fries your brain?

Or does everything just stop, frozen in ice and blacken into the darkest of nights?

I never wanted to know. Now I am considering it, returning to that cycle of life.

But I know Kyo would never want that for me. He would want me to move, beat the game and live until my hair is grey.

And that is what I will do.

I have to. It is the least I owe him.

And one part of that is leading the Moonlit Black Cats to safety.

We don't talk as we hurriedly back our way back to the mouth of the dungeon. We don't talk about how I yelled Kyo's real name. Or that he was taken by Sakura wolves and killed.

Or that Saki is sure to know who I am now. Or that my level is fake. But I she gone beyond caring for those things.

I gave up caring when my fingers missed his.

Exhaustion is heavy in my bones, all I want to do is sleep, close my eyes and maybe, just maybe when I open my eyes tomorrow, he will be sitting before me, stupid, stupid smile on his face.

Maybe.

Maybe is all I would ever need.

"This is where we say goodbye." I open my menu, de-equiping the heavy sword.

"Wait Kira!" I have no energy to bother with this now, but I turn to Sachi, her form quivering.

"Are you okay?" Her voice is soft, too soft for this game, her figure too delicate.

"I am fine."

"But...but" she stutters.

"I AM FINE!" It comes out stronger than I intend it to, the maddening anger boiling inside me.

"But Kyo is...is" her mouth refuses to shape the words, like the coward she is.

"Dead and never coming back." I finish for her.

Then I am walking back down the hill, back where we joked only 30 minutes ago, and almost to the teleport point where we waited and waited.

"Kira!" Keita, huffs with the effort of keeping speed with me.

"Leave me alone."

"No but it is important," Keita still insits, "Kyo's alive!"

"Please. Please don't make this worse Keita." I beg.

"He's still on the friend menu."

Hope beats, lighting my heart up with a spark as I swipe for the menu and in the menu, finally one button isn't missing, the void nonexistent.

Kyo's button. That means...that means...

"Wait here!"

"But..but..Kira!"

"No buts, you'll only slow me down, please Keita, I have to do this."

Then I am running, towards something, though I don't know what, happiness or despair waits for me back in that dungeon; it is a scale shifting from one side to another.

Which side would it land on?

It doesn't matter which side that scale lands on; despair or happiness. I can only think of the hope that flows through my veins, and that one word.

One word that could change everything.

Maybe.

I grasp that word close to my chest, never once letting go.

Because maybe. Just maybe. My friend isn't dead after all.

That maybe is all I need.


	11. Chapter 11

**Firstly, before I start, I should put up a trigger warning. This chapter contains themes like Suicide, death and depression, so if you are sensitive about the things above then please don't read.**

 **Secondly, I would like to apologize for any inconsistencies in my writing. I, myself have never experienced anything like this, even though I attempt to write as accurate as possible, things are going to be wrong.**

 **Lastly, and most importantly, if you do experience anything like mentioned in this chapter; I urge you to keep living. I know you likely have seen so much stuff about "life getting better" but I would just like to say, whoever you are, wherever you are,**

 **This one is for you.**

 _POV:Sachi_

I watch as the red figure trails her way down the hill, her features masked in the hood she had pulled over her face.

I don't blame her for any of her reactions. In fact, she is has a bravery I only wish I could have. A disregard of caution to save others.

I could never be like her.

She was solo, truly and utter alone now that Kyo was gone. But despite that, she was able to keep the crest of her hood high.

I want to reach after her, to clasp her close and tell the girl that everything was going to be alright.

But that would make me a lier as well as a coward.

An utter sense of helplessness washes over me. No matter how hard I try, I can never, never seem to help anyone. Kyo, Kira, all my team mates in The Blackcats.

They all seem to help me. And I can never be good enough to help them back.

I am weak. That's why Kyo is dead. One tiny slip up, one nudge of those dominos and everything tilts.

So I vow. Then, there, whilst I clench my fist bone white. I will be strong.

I will be strong.

I will be strong.

I will be strong.

If I say it enough times will it come true?

Silence hums between us, like the NPC's awful music back in the town of beginnings, an annoying but welcomed sound.

Except, it isn't a sound really. Silence is defined by the absence of sound. So what would be the absence of thought be called?

If there were such a word, I know that is what Kira would be experiencing. The mental shock and blankness of something your brain cannot comprehend.

The death of your closest friends.

I understand what she is feeling, I know. I could never forget that day. The day the most important person in my life had taken his last breath.

[Flashback start!]

It wasn't my mother or my father; the trash who never quite cared enough about me, only their star child, my brother.

Despite our parent hatred for me, my brother was different. He was bright, considerate and when he smiled, it was like when the sun came out from under the clouds.

Until he was beaten by something even brighter than the sun; a hot, burning raging fire.

"I will always come back for you." Was the last words he said to me, the cupping of my face his last touch.

And when he placed the whale pin badge I always admired into my hand, I knew, and he knew, he wasn't going to make it.

The backing for the pin was missing as he shoved it over to me, the sharp point pricking, tearing my still young skin.

Then he turned his back on me, just like my parents who stood there. Stood there as he walked back in.

And never graced me with his smile again.

A couple of months later, the cool bars of the bridge prickled my hand just like the badge had and the brush of the wind against my face wasn't enough to convince me I was still living.

Living while my brother was not.

If I jumped, launched myself off here, would everything me okay?

Even if it was going to be, even if I could see my brother again, just long enough to give him back the whale pin badge now pinned to my uniform.

I would do anything.

Yet, once a coward, always a coward. I could never quite bring myself to take that extra step.

But he thought I might. And that's all that mattered.

"You aren't planning to jump, are you?" A boy with caramel hair asked one day, just like a passing thought.

I didn't have the nerve to say anything back, the humiliation I was even considering it pressed against my back.

"I always see you stand there, like you are waiting for someone." I can even hear his voice now as he said it.

"Are you going to jump because you think they are waiting for you?"

"I just want to give something back." I managed to choke out.

"With your life?"

I shook my head. "No. An object. They gave it to me before they died."

I don't know why I found myself saying the words, they just seemed to flow out in an never ending stream of sentences.

"If they gave it to you, and they cherished it, they most likely never want it back."

The boy lent on the bridge support, his shoulder almost skimming where the metal bit my hand.

"And if they would be happy seeing you take your life for them, they didn't deserve you in the first place."

The boy said "And if no one would be sad that you died, I will be sad for everyone who is missing out on an amazing person."

His gaze was ignited, though not like fire, like a pure spark of light. Of the sun.

Silence hummed between me and the strange boy. Silence in the absence of sound, but in my brain, it was dancing. Alive for the first time since that soul consuming fire.

"Thank you," Words stumbled into sentences. "For everything"

The boy laughs, turning away from me calling over his shoulder "Everything? You are missing out on everything."

As he walked away, I stammer over the words in my brain, figuring which ones to ask to shape the question

"What is your name?"

But like an escaping butterfly, my courage, along with the boy flew away.

I only had to wait a couple of months for the answer. The boy who saved my life was in my class in junior high school. I only sat behind his brightness.

All I wanted to do was to thank him. To truly and properly thank him for all that he had done.

Only my small courage never great big enough. I could never, never get the words out.

For two years it continued like this and while I couldn't bring myself to utter a word, others had.

A girl, brown from her eyes, hair and skin. Rich, popular, the boy's everything. Whilst I was his nothing.

I hated her unlike anything else, for no good reason other than she was everything I wasn't.

And as that gap grew, my time was running out and then, I managed to get my thanks out.

Behind the shed, wedged between chipped wood and brick wall. And when I lent up to kiss him on the cheek, he told me he liked someone else.

And I told him I already knew that.

That boy's name, the boy who saved my life was one I could never forget.

And now he is more than likely dead because of stupid weak me.

That boy's name was Kyozo Katuo.

And he was my everything.


	12. Chapter 12

_POV:Kayoko_

They told me this word was a world of possibilities. Of swords, and excitement and battles beyond what our world could offer us.

This world offers us most of the same things; the beautiful blend of colours in a sunset or vast green expanse of a field.

The real world is no different from this one on a technical level, but there is so much more than that.

In the real world, we have responsibility. School, work, friends and family. We are committed.

Here, though, we are free to make what we want of it. I have nothing to hold me back from doing anything.

The two worlds aren't that different. So I don't understand why everyone makes a big deal out of it.

But both worlds have the same taint on them; the shadow of death hangs like a noose around our neck, threatening to press just a little too hard so that breath is squeezed out.

And that is it, we are dead.

Death is everywhere, wherever we go, it follows. I think that is why we as humans have such a natural aversion to death.

It is merciless, striking out with it's fingers to touch who ever happens to be walking by.

Your age, gender, job, wealth, name. They are all meaningless in the face of death.

I am meaningless in the face of death.

Still, I am taking a stand. Because in the real world, he would be dead. But here, I still have a chance, that maybe.

And I clutch it tight.

I don't have to be worth anything in the face of death. I have something worth much more than my fear, more than anything.

My muscles burn from darting straight up this hill, between groups of players trying for their luck like we were before all this.

Swiping my two fingers in the air, I call up my menu, selecting my strongest sword and sheathing it at my side.

Whilst picking out a couple of healing potions, I slam right into one of the players, caramel haired.

"Watch where are you going..." The player mumbles, rubbing head.

I stare at him, taking in the freckles dotted across his nose and the unusually long eyelashes framing his eyes.

It hits me then, that I have been staring for far too long.

"Ugh...umm..." I seem to loose all words that my brain has collected over the years.

I think I am going insane.

"Sorry!" I leap up, bow and stutter out my apology before starting out in my sprint again.

I think I needed someone, something right then to knock into me, to send all the broken fractures of my brain back into place.

It finally feels like I can think again, I can navigate around my brain.

I said I was sorry to that player. But what I really wanted to say was

"Thank you."

"Wait! Kira, please stop!" Keita finally manges to catch up with me, breath coming in a strangled wheeze.

"I don't have time too, I have to help him." I twist but I only make it five feet before Keita snatched my hand mid-swing.

"What about you? If you are going to save Kyo, we want to help. You can't do it alone, but with all of us together, we can."

Keita looks into my eyes, like he is trying to find something but can't. He holds my gaze for far too long before I pull away, his touch a brand burning into my skin.

I give him a sad smile, addressing all five of the guild as I mouth the words.

"I'm sorry."

I know have to say those words. I have to show them how I don't want to leave. And they can't leave with me.

"If we had time, and we raised out levels and planned, perhaps we could do it together. But we don't have that time. I don't know you enough to form a plan. I'm sorry I have to leave so suddenly."

"Please travel to the next village, and if I succeed, we'll meet you there. If not...well...this is goodbye."

I don't give them enough time to reply or scream their protests. With a nod, I depart on my mission.

I know what just came out of my mouth. An excuse. Why I couldn't take them in. But what I should have said was something I need to bury deep in my heart.

I don't want anyone else to die because of me.

The dungeon hasn't changed from before. It is dark, the lights from the torches adorning the walls casting shadows of mischief over the floor.

After scanning the circular chamber, I find a trail of pink sakura leading off towards on of the four paths.

As I lean down to touch one of them, I have to swallow the images roiling in my mind.

The satin feel of these petals is the same feather light touch as I reach towards the boy trapped inside them.

And when I shut my eyes against the images, I feel the image of his fear widened eyes flash.

A sick feeling spiders it's way up my gut. Tightening my hand on the hilt of my sword, I force one more step forward, then another.

I follow the trail to the the passageway until it widens, again into a circular chamber. This time, instead of other passages cut out of the stone, several colloms circle the room.

Then everything in my vision narrows to one collum, positioned in the centre, and tried to it is...is...

Then, I am moving, almost tripping over myself to help him.

Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't!

It is a chant in my blood, a warning. A scream of my brain to stop.

It is a trap.

Don't fall for it.

I am not falling for it, I am plummeting.

Tears stream down my face, the rivers interceting to form new ones, jumping of my face. And when I choke his name out, it is followed by more body raking sobs.

"Kyozo!" I cup his face into my hands, the warmth of his cheeks confirming that this indeed real.

"It's Kyo, Kayoko." He cracks a weak smile at me through his own tears.

All the composure I am trying to hold together falls apart in fragments in front of me, my tears renewing themselves as I press my head into his shoulder.

I don't even know if Gods exist but if they do, they have given me proof of a miracle.

So Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I don't realise I am saying the words aloud until Kyo leans his head against mine and told me gently

"I am sorry for worrying you...if you had died trying to rescue me... I...I don't know what I would have done" he pauses "Kira...I...I lo..."

"Kyo, you don't need to say it," I mumble, pressing my finger on his lips to stop him "I already know."

I really am not an idiot. Of course I know Kyo's feelings for me but I am so confused right now, conflicted.

I don't know whether I feel the same. I want to feel the same. There are no word to describe this feeling. It is like the opposite of...I don't know what.

The feeling is wrong in me.

But what I do know is that this isn't the time for confessions.

I allow myself to savour the feeling of Kyo's warmth before pulling away, taking one last breath of his scent.

With the sleeve of my dress, I wipe the last remains of tears off my face.

"How about we get these off?" Kyo suggests, wriggling his hands under the subtence tied around his chest.

I give him a soft laugh and inspect the strange bindings by giving them a careful poke with my finger.

It is like jelly as the tip of my fingernails easily disappears but when I move to pull it out, the jell holds fast.

"What the heck is this stuff?" I give my finger one hard tug, almost falling backwards from the effort to tug my skin out.

"I don't know."

"Wow, you are so helpful." I say sarcastically. We are falling back into our regular routine that was have had for almost year.

So familiar that I forget we are an inch from death herself, lulling in her arms like children.

But my fantasy is soon shattered when an inhuman growl sounds across the circular chamber that turn by blood to ice. Wolves.

At least when we die, we die together.


	13. Chapter 13

**Writing while listening to crossing field and courage is the best ever!**

 _POV: Kayoko_

Screwing everything to hell, I hack at the bindings with my sword, again, again. Each time I manage to pull it out, the substance clings move to the blade until it is sticks fast.

Without a weapon, I turn, the wolf metres away, more petals swirling around me. I swat at them, knowing I don't have enough time for equip anything.

"Wait Kayoko!" Kyo thrashes against the binds. "Don't be stupid."

I am way beyond being stupid. I don't know anything anymore for one thing. I know it even surer than my name. I have to save him.

No matter what. Me or him. Truth or untrue. Dead or alive.

It is always going to be him I choose.

I reach my hands towards fur, not knowing if I can get my hands around his neck but if I do, no breath with ever again come out.

My palm brushes over a wet nose and I want to recoil from the touch. Instead, I rake my nails down it's face, the red lines appearing under them.

I leap back, out of it's reach and turn back to my sword hanging from pink bindings. I pull down, willing it to snap.

"Kayoko, how could you be so reckless!" In his rage, Kyo forgets to use my own name and in my frustration I don't correct him.

"SHUT UP!" I yell through my teeth, snapping my head back towards the wolf, breath ripping out in bleeding rags.

It twists in pain in the floor, pink markings over it's body glowing. Around us, all the petals fall, forming back into wolves, their pink marks glowing a similar glow.

"What's happening?"

"Shut up." I wave at him, scanning my brain desperately for information while I continue to yank the sword.

Sakura wolves, tragedy lone players and bring them back to their base. Can transform into petals.

What else? What else? What else did I program them to do. Think. Think Kayoko, Kyo's life depends on it.

I press my head against the collum, letting the coolness sooth the raging in my brain. Then one line comes back to me, unearthed under the ash.

"They can be trained!" I exclaim, disregarding the sword, still stuck, I kneel over the nearest wolf, fingering through it's soft fur.

"I am so full of love that I have begun to over flow and with every outward breath, flowers grow." I murmur under my breath, the poem rushing back to me in waves.

"This is a quest to show your love for a player, wether a friend or something more, so to tame the wolves which are symbols of love and to tame them we have to..."

I smack my palm against my brain, trying to dislodge any information that maybe be left.

I take another look at the wolf in front of me, the fur heaving up and down. A mark that looks like a lip stick mark raises and as I touch it, the wolf bares it's teeth at me.

Maybe we should be working a way to get the bindings off Kyo so that we can get out of here.

But there is a lingering feeling that I cannot leave this opportunity behind now that I feel right minded again.

Also, I highly doubt the bindings are going to just fall off and if one of the highest level swords I have isn't going to work then nothing in my possession will.

"Of course!" I click my fingers, then cringe at the idea. I gather myself up in a deep breath as I walk by to the middle collum, kneeling in front of Kyo.

"I am sorry but this is the only way to get out of here." I say.

Before kissing him.

The kiss is like sunshine, all warmth and loveliness, leaving that lingering promise of staying before darting behind another cloud.

I pull away quickly, eyes still closed and take one steadying breath again.

"Who did you practise on?" Kyo laughs like he can't just can't believe this just happened. I don't quite believe what I have just done either.

"You're a good kisser." he smirks as me.

My heart is a coiled mess in my chest and I am amazed the thing still beats so steadily. I feel red all over and I think I may be blushing.

I shake my head a little to steady myself, trying to wipe the heat from my cheeks.

There have been so many emotions today; boredom, frustration, surprise, desperation, happiness and now this.

Whatever you want to call it.

I just want this day to end. Jump in bed and rest my over active brain. But it is not like that is an option present at the moment.

A massive congratulations is suddenly splayed across my visor and I want to cut it down with my blade.

I don't want it, I want to scream at it. You risked my friends life for this "special event".

Wait...special event?

Whoever programmed this into the game, I vow that when I get out of here, I am going to track them down and strangle the living life out of them.

I clench my fist as the notification floats in front of me and purse my lips as I press the circle without reading what it says.

A charm bracelet teleports onto my wrist, sucking the wolves into petals and towards the metal chain, were they attach themselves in the form of metal flower charms.

It takes everything in my to not rip the thing off my wrist and crush it under my feet.

Instead, I take a look at the item description by pressing the "I" icon. As I scan the text, I begrudgingly admit it is a useful item.

 _The Sakura Charm Bracelet_

 _An item gained after the "Sakura Wolves Romance Special Event" that allows the training and control of any beast you defeat in the game for a total of 3 times._

"I am so full of love that I have begun to overflow, and with every outward breath, flowers grow"

It still isn't worth Kyo's life. You could offer me no trade where I would ever not choose him. The metal clinks against my wrist, the weight heavy on my skin as I head back over towards the centre of the room.

"The Sakura Wolves Romance Special Event?" Kyo asks as I lean over, pressing the metal of the braclet to the bindings that shatter into blue fragments. My sword clatters over the silence but I don't move to pick it up.

"I...I...it's about..." I stutter and trail my words, as I rub my eyes, trying to find feeling in my brain.

"Hey..." Kyo's voice is soft "I don't care about that, I just care that you are okay."

Sliding down the collum, I rest my head against Kyo's shoulder, whispering "Me too."

We don't say anything. We just savour each other's company and heartbeats; a reasureence that we are really okay.

"We need to talk..." Kyo starts "We don't have to do it now but we still need to do it."

I laugh bitterly, twisting the charm bracelet over my wrist, watching as the charms hit each other like chimes of a bell.

"Let's get it over with."

Kyo puts his hand over mine, interlocking our fingers and I savour the touch. It reminds me that when we are together, we can do anything.

He takes a deep inhale and starts "It is about your uncle, we need to start looking for him to end the game. We have been so swept away with this game that we have forgotten our promise back in the town of beginnings,"

He has a point; for 6 months now we have been focusing on surviving, on leveling up and joining guilds.

We have been focusing on one small aspect that we forget our other aim.

I am not here to just save Kyo anymore, I am here to save everyone.

Even if I have to kill my uncle. Even if I die attempting to end this all. Even if I lose Kyo, I have to complete this mission.

I tighten my grip on Kyo's hand, so much I can see his skin turn white

"Okay, let's find Kayaba Akihiko."

"And Kayoko?"

I glance back up at him, his face so familiar and his heart is beating so hard against my ear. I can see his Adam's apple bob when he swallows.

"Yeah?" I tilt my head

"I need to tell you something else. I've been meaning to tell you for sometime. And it is okay that you don't feel the same, I don't even expect you too." He is rambling the words, tripling over them like rocks.

I want to tell him to stop, stop forcing the words out, but when he says the words, he tells me three words I know he cannot take back.

There is no going back.

 **"I love you."**

"Kyozo, I...I..." It feels wrong to say his pen name, this confession is so real and from his heart that a fake name is what he doesn't deserve.

There have been many emotions today and they float, echoes in my brain. And they are swarming in my brain like bees, crawling over my arms, shoving down my throat until I am suffocating.

"I...I..." I want to say what I feel, I want to put the feelings in my heart into words. But there are none that match my feelings how I feel.

Something clatters to the ground. At first, I think the sound is my heart shattering to pieces. Then I think it is Kyozo's.

Then it occurs to me. It isn't me or Kyozo. The sound is from someone else. They have been listening to our whole conversation.

Ice floods in my veins, a river bringing dread to drown my lungs in. Panic sparks and I am up, off Kyo, sword in hand.

They know. They know. They know. They know. They know. They know.

They know I am the neice of Kayaba Akihiko.


	14. Chapter 14

_POV: Sachi_

Worry is like a constant weight on your back, sometimes it is light, so light you almost forget it is there, pressing into your spine. Sometimes it is so weighty that you feel that your whole body is going to collapse.

Sometimes it is so in-between that you cant tell which is which.

I am going back to help them. I step another 10 metres along with the four of my guild-mates. I am not going back to help them. I am going back to help. I am not.

It is like a tilting scale, tipping one way then the other, never quite fully on one side before swing straight over to the other. I am going to help. I am not going to help.

I take a deep breath.

Even if I go back, what could I possibly do compared to Kira? Would I even be brave enough to do anything? But it is my fault we are even parting because I am so weak. So pathetic. I couldn't stop my brother then, what makes me think that I could stop Kira from throwing her life away?

"Hey Sachi, are you okay?" Keita asks me warmly, a hint of worry in his soft voice.

"Yeah." I force a smile onto my face but it is like it doesn't quite fit.

The mood plummets suddenly into a cold silence. The kind that is like ice, freezing and uncomfortable to touch for too long. In a couple of months, the weather should be populated with snowflakes rather than these annoying petals.

I push one aside as it falls it onto of my face and crunch it into my fist. I am not standing by while people throw their lives away anymore, I cant. I cant abandon the boy we gave me mine back either.

"I need to go the toilet." I announce quickly, the best excuse I can think of.

Ducker visibly lowers his shoulders, complaining loudly "Can you wait until we get back?"

I shake my head urgently while I am cringe inside and I am suddenly thinking this is a bad idea before Keita sighs "Just be quick."

I dart just beyond the trees, making sure they cant see me before escaping to the beige path that twists up to the dungeon as swift as my body can take me.

There seems to more people around than before so I have to shove the mass of people to get to the front. I hear whispers about a challenge but I try to pay no attention to it.

My heart plunges to the bottom of my rib cage when I see the pink slab of jelly-like substance covering the entrance. No! No! No! My breath hitches as I reach out to it, hoping I can still get through.

Hope is such a cruel thing.

A cool touch hold be back, firmly but not suffocating. As I whirl, I think it maybe be Keita but I great a girl. I don't take much of her in, only her pretty golden hair, braided back into two plaits.

"Don't, it kills any player who isn't taking part in the Sakura Wolf Romance Challenge." She tilts her head to the door.

"Vice commander!" So one else comes up to the beauty, a warning in his voice but the commander brushes him aside.

But only a part of my brain takes that exchange in. My brain erupts into white noise. The possibility that Kyo and Kira taking part in "Romance" makes me even more eager to get in.

"We think that it works by the NerveGear sensing your heart rate and your brains impulses to only allows the two players who like each other in." The girl speculates, no, Asuna speculates if I heard her comrades correctly. "If you still want to go in, I won't stop you."

"My friends are stuck in there, I have to help them."

Asuna only nods before stepping back into the crowd. "Good luck."

I gaze up at the extending door that is carved into the rock face and at the restricting substance that keeps me from my friends. Whispers of speculation roll of tounges as I walk forward into the semi circle formed by the crowd.

I am putting my hope on the fact I love Kyo. If the NeverGear recognises those feelings, it should let me through. I am putting my life on this; just like Kira did for me.

Hope is such a cruel thing.

I reach my hand out, prodding it against the jelly. It conforms to hold my hand in it's cool hold. And I squeeze my eyes shut, waiting for the electric shock that is delivered to my brain.

A breath I didn't even realise I was holding realises and I wade through the jell like it is only water. It clings to my body until I force my way through.

I almost loose my balance after I tumble out, the pink jelly clinging like a second skin. the wall behind me casts a pink shade to the dungeon but after 15 steps forward the tint fades away.

I equip my sword, jittery in my grip and take a run forward. Don't worry, I am coming. Just hold on a little longer. I can save you. I promise.

I take careful steps, as to make sure that they don't echo too loudly. If Kira finds out I followed her, so isn't going to be very happy.

If I save her it might be a different story.

The dungeon is just a maze of dark corridors so I take the one in front which after a long time in the dark, widens out into a circular room.

Five pillars hold up the expansive carved ceiling. Strangely, one of the five is placed in the centre with Kyo bound in the same substance that blocked my way in.

I slink behind one of the columns, meerly a shadow sticking itself to marble.

Kira stands in front of Kyo, using her body to protect him even though she is unarmed. Barely, I can make out a sword hanging limply in the binds, as useless as cardboard when wet.

I recognize the leaping wolf that bounds towards them, faster and faster with each stride.

I should help. I should help. I should help. I should be doing something.

But it is always frozen fear that pulls me back. I am so scared of what might happen that I let the things that should happen scuttle away.

Kira was right, I am a coward.

I should have thrown myself of the bridge that day. Then none of this ever would have happened. Because of me my brother is dead, buried in the ground where I can't reach him.

Kyo, the boy I have loved, even from a distance, whilst he fell in love with someone else is going to die because of me.

Kira, the girl who seems uncaring and cold, but also the one I owe my life to; who didn't think a second before throwing her life away. That girl is going to die.

The blood is going to be on my hands, coating my flesh. I can't scrub it off, even peel off my own skin, it is still going to be there.

So why can't I help?

Why can't I move my body?

You promised yourself you would become better. Stronger. Faster. Smarter. Ruthless.

Are you going to let your promised down just like you do people?

Kira lets out a scream of frustration and uses her nails to injure the vicious animal, equally as vicious herself.

But something happens then and the wolves go down and convulse in what looks like pain.

I breath a shaky inahle of air. Now, hopefully, they are going to be alright, if trapped in a dungeon with no away out is alright but we can figure out the details.

I move to blend into the shadows to walk away, as insivable as before but the red haired player keeps murmuring under her breath, pacing. At one point, she even dares to stroke one of the wolves next to her thoughtfully.

Suddenly, she snaps her fingers before crossing the room back over to the chained boy.

I don't hear what she says over the noise that errupts in my brain after what she does.

Kira is kissing Kyo.

Kira is kissing Kyo.

Kira is kissing Kyo.

I try to accept it, try and back it a part of my life now, attempt to turn away and walk out like a coward.

I keep repeating the phrase in my head. Like if I can say it enough times, I can engrave it in my mind enough that I convince myself it is happening.

This is real.

But it isn't. The contact between the two lips is nothing but virtual code that we perseve to be real.

But what is real and what is not in this world?

Everything feels real, tastes real. This ebbing dealing in my heart that pulumets is real.

This is real.

What happens after that kiss, I don't register it. It is like my body is on stand by, ready for when I can accept this as my life now.

Not even when the congratulations splays across my visor nor I reach the 27th level can I bring myself to move.

I feel slightly sick when the two lean on each other. How I wish I was the one in Kira's place.

I don't even realise the tears are building until they overflow onto my cheeks and throw themselves of my face. How brave tears are to fall.

Why can't I fall too?

"Kayoko?" Kyo's voice is a hammer, shattering and destroying the last of my composure.

I am shaking so hard, trembling like ice is touching my skin. Tears fall faster than before, rain dripping wet over the floor and my clothes.

How dare she? How dare Kayoko steal every bit of me. Kyo. My enjoyment of school. The first female friend I ever opened up to in this game.

There is no Kira anymore. I can't see her face when I look at her; the face I see is golden brown at every turn, a rich colour that I could never have compared to. Kira is no one.

All I see is a monster.

Someone who's uncle trapped me in a game where there is no escape, only the suffering release of death. Where my family is, my friends who j hold most dearly.

They have probably all moved on by now. With 10,000 people gone, the world will still turn maybe some will be scared but scars heal...

The jagged wound Kayoko dragged across my chest when she and I first met is never healing, not fully. It still aches in my chest when the my I love says those 3 words.

But not to me.

At first, I think the echoing sound is that of my heart physically shattering in my chest, the pieces scattering on the floor, too damaged to be repaired.

I check my chest and sure enough my virtual heart still beats in my body. Maybe it is the scream wound so tight around my lungs that it resonates in this large space.

No, it isn't that either, I am sure of it, almost as sure as I know my own name that it wasn't me who made that noise.

It is my sword that I held so tightly before but when my brain unraveled in front of me, so did the grip on my sword.

When it skitters across the floor, up and down then stilled, my veins flood with ice cold.

The reason why I still can't move might be because the cold isn't in my veins; it is crawling up my skin, a frost that chills me frozen still.

I can see Kira from were she storms towards me, a living flame dancing and flickering to cross the room. Here to burn me alive.

For being a coward. A Coward. A Coward. A Coward.

A little of her flame does wonders for the cold covering my skin, melting quickly. But not quick enough.

Her red blade is up against my throat in an instant. A better colour than any other to kill someone in. If this was the real world, the blood stains I would leave behind wouldn't even show.

I don't scream. I don't beg for my life. My life is useless anyway. She can take it, it is not like Kayoko has taken everything else I held close to my heart.

I expect her to neatly draw a line a cross my throat and end it, rage fueling her eyes to a bright blue.

Instead she looks tired. More exhausted then I have ever seen someone, not just physically tired but mentally too.

I have seen it mirrored on my face often enough to recognise it at first glance.

The lines around her face make her look older than 14, like the 6 months she has spent here have been more like 6 years.

But there is more in her eyes than just tiredness. Rage, yes like I though but dimmed to an ember. There is a lingering of worry too but what is mostly inhabiting her eyes is something I don't need.

Pity.

If it weren't for the blade pointed at me, I would gauge her eyes out so that I don't ever have to have that reminder about her ever again.

Better to think of enemy as a monster rather than a human. It is easier to hate them that way.

I turn my face away. I can't look at this person I should hate.

Silence goes round and round, a ride that never stops turning. Until it does.

"You mention this to anyone and I don't care how far I have to go, or how long I have to search or how well you hide. You tell anyone, you're a dead women walking." The voice is cold, back to the Kayoko I know how to hate. This is easier to swallow than that kiss.

"Even if I have to walk through the gates of death herself to find you, I'll kill you."

I don't doubt it. Not an inch. Not even for a moment. It is in the way she says the words, final and full.

Then she leans into me,close, too close, her long hair acting as a certain for the chilling words she hisses into my ear.

"Or Kyozo's life is in danger too, Saki."


	15. Chapter 15

**Me: This would be a perfect time for me to update HMTSTA** **My French Teacher: Finish your french assessment over night because you were ill last lesson** **Me: well there goes my plans...**

 _POV: Kayoko_

Tiredness is a weight on my back, depressing into my virtual skin like it is really there. Should I even feel tried in this game?

I just want to close my eyes and forget this day ever happened. Turn the clocks back to a day where there wasn't the threat of Kyo dead or Saki spearing her sword through my back from sheer hatred.

I would welcome the relief of death if there weren't a mission ahead of me. I have to hold on longer. Just until I can find him and end this, then I can finally, truly rest my body.

We don't attempt to explain or make conversation; same as me, they just want this to end. My newly acquired charms hit my skin like ice particles, chilling each time.

When we reach the entrance hall of the dungeon, pink glows both from the jell and my braclet, the barrier shattering into game data before me when I reach out to touch it.

A cool wind brushes against my face, sending my hair rippling upwards into the blue sky. I am surprised my the crowd gathered, but when I think about it again, I am not. Any chance to make life here a little better, people will take it.

"Wait, someone's coming out!" Someone shoves, sending a domino of different voices and movements, each crowding around me, Kyo and Saki.

They are too close, suffocatingly close, straglingly close to me. It is almost as if they can smell a secret on me; a massive secret they want to know more about.

A secret that can be as much of a weapon as a help here.

"I wonder who the couple is?"

"What attack bonus did you get!?"

"Are they a high level?"

All the voices muddle in my head, a fog swirling around in my mind, clouding all my thoughts. And one light shines all that away.

"Move," it is quiet at first then all my anger of the day heads my next word "MOVE!!"

Reluctantly, the crowd parts, murmuring again as a pass them, un- caring, only wanting rest, and lots of it.

I endure a lot of mumbling from when we start to decend the hill, stuff about things I don't even want to think about, so I don't.

I put an unshatterable barrier up on my mind, let my body operate on auto pilot for a while, just getting down this hill for what seems like the 100th time.

I am never going up it again.

"Sachi!" The form of Keita morphs out of the identical faces of the crowd, instantly hugging the girl.

Suddenly, I am glad I could bring myself to kill her back there, even if it would have been easier, with no witnesses. A clean kill.

"I am so glad you are okay." He sounds beyond relieved. I don't even know how much it would break his heart to hear that she had died.

I am glad I didn't do it.

"You too Kira, and Kyo, looks like we are going to have to put up with you a little longer."

His humour is appercaited, lightening up the akawardness between us. Again, there are so many things I don't want to think about; real lives and identities revealed.

"Yeah! Looks like we might be partying together for a little longer." Kyo laughs, but when he looks at me, I see the sadness in his eyes.

Everything between us had changed. It isn't going back to the way before, even if we want it to.

But I am not ready to answer him just yet. Maybe I never will be strong enough to actually say anything and his words will hang between us forever.

It is like I don't know how to be strong anymore. This day has taken every bit within me and I just want it back...I need to rest.

"How about we go back then?" I ask, hinting.

"Sure!"

We continue down the hill, eyes glaring into our backs with each step towards the teleport point while I listen to Keita nag Sachi about running off.

It is calming to hear, normal almost and if I concentrate enough, I can imagine how in the real world, we would be walking home now, down a hill just like this, with identical cherry blossom petals around us.

The forest offers shelter from all the stares, it seems saver here, i remember thinking before we ran into a mini boss.

Typical. Just typical.

The closest animal that resembled it in the real world was a deer. But this one was 7 metres tall, with a skull like face and ribs jutting about of it's leathery skin plus the two abnormally large teeth protruding out of the mouth.

Sluggishly, I dodged the first swipe of it's elongated arm, sending a woosh of air, into my red locks tangling into my face.

I brush them aside, quickly charging up a sword skill. As I ran towards it, it pounded all four of it's legs onto the mud, that trembled in response, knocking me back and into Kyo, similarly preparing to attack.

Great, a woodland devil deer, at this rate, me and the moonlit Blackcats aren't ready enough, not good enough to beat it, as tired as we are.

Will I already have to use one of my charms so soon? I would have liked to have kept them unknown for a while longer, but if it is to save Kyo, to save them, I would do it.

It feels strange to want to save the 5 of them, even if I have known them for even less than a day. The things that have happened, all the memories between us, even if they are bad ones, they connect us together. There is no undoing that.

I guess it makes me remember that there are other players other than me and Kyo out there, struggling just like us. If they were stronger, and I knew them better, they could even help us with our mission.

If we live through this, I vow as the deer once again lifts it's legs above us, me and Kyo are joining the Moonlit Black Cats.

Just to keep an eye on Saki, just in case she spills our secrets. And with the guild because they know Kyo's real name, and maybe just maybe, they could figure out mine from that too.

Maybe.

The deer rears again, I can see my health bar hovering in the orange, but I mostly see the thin bars of red on under mine.

I grip one of the charms and prepare to yank it off the bracelet when someone jumps in front of me, using his sword to block the raised legs of the deer.

I can't see much of him from behind, other than an empty sword sheath across his back and a black coat studded with silver embellishments on the shoulders.

I roll out from my crouched position, ducking over the other player and stabbing the deer right between it's skinny ribs.

"Switch!" I yell as I and the other player jump back, while Tetsuo hastily defends in our saviour's face.

I don't get time to look at him though before I switch out in place of Kyo, a twirl of blade, like a arc of death and it shatters soon after.

I pant, hands over knees, tired, tired, tired, even though this isnt my body doing any of this.

I want so desperatly to crumble over on the grass and close my eyes, even just for a while but I straighten, forcing a smile.

"Thanks for saving..." I trail off as I stare at the player, a boy. Onyx eyes and with hair that dips in between them and a coat, so similar to the one back in the first dungeon.

"Kirito?"

*


	16. Chapter 16

POV: Kayoko

The inn we sit in is busy with bustling travellers, after all, not many players have enough col to buy a house; most resorting to renting rooms in inns like the one we sit in.

It takes quite a lot of effort to focus on the conversation as I slouch on the big table we share.

"Here's to us, the Moonlit Blackcats." Ducker throws his cup up, the brown liquid slouching over the rim.

I raise my cup half-heartedly and say with slightly less enthusiasm than everyone else "Cheers!"

"Oh but I've got another one!"

Please no. It takes effort to even be here. My thoughts swirl around my head. Muddled. Confused.

My kiss to Kyo flashes in my mind, a snapshot of something I don't know whether or not I regret.

"I love you." Clangs through my mind, a hammer forging a thousand thoughts. How do I even being shaping them into words?

Mercifully, Ducker doesn't make it too long, rather just raising his cup again, declaring "Here's to the guy who saved our lives. To Kirito!"

We all raise our mugs again, slamming them down on the table. I can see that Kirito looks quite uncomfortable with the praise, particularly with Sachi when she talks in her softened, weak voice.

"Thank you. Thank you very much. I can't tell you how scared I was. And it made me so happy that you saved us." She manages a small smile.

Perhaps the past me would have been disgusted with her act of weakness. I probably would have hated her from the start.

But, I think I have begun to understand a little about her. And I don't feel like I hate her so much. I don't even think I really hated her in the first place.

All I did was reflect the hatred aimed at me.

I think it is down kind of silent agreement between us; keep out of each other's way.

I truly meant what I said earlier. About if she told anyone, I would kill her. Perhaps it would have been different in real life. But this don't real life anymore.

This is Sword Art Online.

A world of swords and excitement and battles; a world where anything is possible. Even murder.

I will do it.

I will do it.

I will do it.

Won't I?

I miss a part of the conversation; drowned in my feelings and my thoughts for so long, I forget what it is like to breathe fully.

"What do you think Kayoko?" Tetsuo asks about something I haven't heard.

I blink up from my cup "Oh what? Sorry I wasn't listening."

"They essentially asked whether or not we wanted to join. That was the gist of it." Kyo fills me in, another small smile from across the table.

It feels weird for him not to sit next to me. I guess he doesn't want to push himself onto me. And I respect that.

But I wish he was beside me to support me, hold me. I decided that we would join to keep an eye on Sachi but to be honest, I just want to stay with him.

"Of course I am joining! We are already practically guild-mates anyway, right?" I take a sip of my drink to avoid any eye contact.

"Count me in too then!" Kyo adds "What about you Kirito? Willing not to be a grouchy old solo player for a while?"

"I guess so." He shrugs as we all get the notification in our visor and press the circle.

There is no going back now.

The green grass waves in the soft wind. My red hair raises along with it before I tuck it back behind my ear.

In front of me, I watch the seven of them bickering over something stupid; it feels strange to imagine how far we have come in a little over 3 months, both the Moonlit Black Cats and the main assault team.

And it is shocking how far Kyo and I haven't gotten in terms of finding my uncle. He just seems to have disappeared.

But I know he is in the game somewhere. He said himself. Out of all the things he lied about, about why my hair is now red instead of brown and why I am stuck in a game with no way out but to keep reach upwards, I know he wouldn't lie about this.

Would he?

And where could he be? My guess would be in the assault team. I can't risk going into the front lines, in case it all comes out.

"Woah, the assault team has just reached level 28!" Keita marvels, lying in the grass, gazing up to a sky that isn't really there.

"Hey, Kirito, what would you say is the difference between us and the assault team?" He sighs as he asks the question as if he already knows the answer.

"Access to more information?" The black haired boy leans back with Keita "They know all the ways to get EXP and don't share it with anyone"

"I think it's partly that, yes, but also what the assault team has is the experience. That can't be shared, only gained through hard work, that's how we are better than them."

I smile at the two of them, standing up and making my way down to the plane beyond. I know the best ways to get EXP, and this is simply the best way; grind it out.

I diagonally run to join where Testuo is attempting to teach the helpless Sachi how to use a shield.

I have to admit, one thing that has changed over these months is part of our relationship.

The boys said to was only appropriate that we shared a room. At first, I hated it, but it mostly just became a mutual agreement; I left her alone and she would do the same to me.

So I don't help them and dive straight into the group of mini-bosses, sword lashing out at flesh wherever it can reach.

My sword skill is an arc of red as it descends onto corpse after corpse, blue fragments flying in my visor.

Something lands to my left, causing my hair to fly back from the impacts with the ground. Brown and white feathers attached to sharp talons, it looks in front of me, flapping its wings again, soaring towards me at impressive speed.

I leap back, not hesitating to grab two of the charms off my bracelet as I whirl, bringing my blade over my head, towards the eagle's neck.

This would make a great addition to my collection. I am tired of just having the wolves that almost killed my best friend. If they weren't such an advantage in battle, then I surely wouldn't keep them.

Health bars both sides down towards death after I make my retreat; I managed to scratch it and barely managed to defend myself with its talons clawed towards me.

The two Sakura Wolves circle, dancing in-between blows of wings and claws and I follow them, picking off chunks of flesh each time I see an opening.

Strike. The kiss I gave Kyo disappears from my head, slashed through with a blade of clarity.

Strike. "I love you" fades like a distant memory; it is hard to even imagine the words working their way past Kyo's lips.

Strike. I am too careless this time, and rather me taking a bit of flesh from him, the eagle takes flesh from me. Three long lines appear on my arm; it is a reflex to cry out, even though it doesn't hurt much.

Gritting my teeth, I keep pushing forward, using one of the knives I have equipped to aim it straight at the thing's eye.

With a glow, the knife embeds into the pupil, and the eagle lets out a squawk of pain, flinging out its wings as a defence.

The wind created picks me up, pushing my back, but someone catches me with a strong hand.

His hair like mine, blows in the wind, caramel, shielding his eyes. I restrain myself from running my fingers through it, as soft and inviting it is.

It is a rarity these days that Kyo and I are this close; he seems to be giving me space to sort out my own problems.

I wish I could just go back to the way things had been. School had been predictable, Kyo my best friend rather than my lover, Saki just a distant rival.

But I can't have that world back if I don't fight for it. I might not even have the whole of it back; I can keep living an illusion, or I can go back to reality.

So it pains me to push Kyo away but I do it, with only a small smile I hope he understands.

"It can never be." Are the words I want to say.

The pained smile he gives me back tells me that he understands. And that hurts even more.

Why can't I just love him?

Why can't he love someone else?

Why can't we just go back to the way we were before?

Not waiting for Kyo, I shoot out again, ducking under the wings and aim right into the rips, digging for the heart that isn't there.

The eagle screams this time and shatters, the shards gathering towards my bracelet and transforming into a charm of an eagle rearing its massive beak.

I pant, doubling over right in the middle of the plains, watching my health bar steadily rise up, but not quick enough.

"Idiot," Kyo whispers from the side, in a tone so soft it blends into the wind; I barely even caught it in my fingers.

I smile. A small secret smile for that small secret part of me that admits that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to love Kyo.

Then I bury it. And bury it deep. It isn't just me and Kyo trapped here; Kirito and Keita and Testuo and Ducker and Sasamaru and Sachi and so many others are too.

They should come first.

I have to kill my uncle first.

I don't even tell a soul about where I seek off to in the middle of the night. Not even Kyo. I do not even dare whisper it.

I know where all the steps and floorboards creak when you place the wrong weight on them. I know who walks around the streets at night.

And I know that all the best monsters on the plains appear at night.

I don't tell the others.

This don't their mission, it's mine.

The event of a couple of months ago made me realize just how powerless I am, even at a level far above other players.

I promised Kyo he would help me, that it was our mission. I forgot to mention that promises can be broken. People can be betrayed. Trust can be broken.

I am not breaking his trust.

I am shattering it.

I creep back into the room far past midnight. The cool night of November brushes against my skin as I slide under the covers soundlessly, aware of Sachi beside me, asleep.

I will be grateful when we finally buy a shared house and won't have to share the inn rooms with each other. When Keita announced it this evening, I couldn't be anything but happy.

The thing is, I was too happy. It felt like pretending.

After about 10 minutes, Sachi bolts up from her bed, panicked. She swings her legs around off the bed, heading towards Kirito's room, leaving the door open a crack.

Recently, ever since she had disappeared from the map for a while and Kirito had bought her back, they had been closer.

She had clearly been crying when she came back, as much as she tried to hide it from the others.

I guess you could say I felt happy for her, that she had finally been able to move on from Kyo.

Perhaps that might have made me happy in the past. But all I feel is this big gaping hole in my heart.

The light in the room shifts, the door letting more light in from the hallway as it is opened, then closed.

"Kira, I know you are awake," he says as softy as he had on the plains.

I shift over, staring over at Kyo. And smile a little. Because it is the only way I can prevent myself from bursting out in tears.

He sits down under the window sill, his head only barely missing the edge as she leans against the wall.

Soon, I join him, resting my head against his shoulder, shivering from the cold of near winter. It will be Christmas soon.

What do I get for him?

For everyone else?

We don't say anything at first, just respecting the silence and creaks of the inn. It begins to grow heavy soon, so I blurt out

"At first I didn't know what to say when you told me; I had just thought you were dead. It was hard to process, all at once. Then, I thought I was selfish if I let myself love you too because I knew that Saki had the same feelings. Then, I don't know what I thought. But there was one thing that was clear to me. But I choose to bury it at first."

I take a deep breath before continuing. Even saying this much had made me feel so much better. The hole in my heart beings filling itself in.

"And it wouldn't let itself be buried, I don't know why. So I think you should know, because you deserve to know, at least much."

Then the words falter in my mouth, I can't quite choke them all out. I don't know how to carve them up. How to make them make sense.

I show him. I run my hands through his hair and pull him close.

This kiss is so different from the one months ago. That one was like warming sunshine. This is burning fire and sparks flying from contact.

It feels much longer, though it can't have been more than a few seconds. It feels like an eternity. Then that feeling sets itself in concrete and won't let go.

I am sure this time as I say the words

"I think I love you too"


	17. Chapter 17

POV: Kayoko

Morning light streams through the window. My lift my head from where I fell asleep, my neck cramping uncomfortably.

I yawn and turn over, and do a little screech. Kyo lies behind me on the bed, arms around my waist, breath on my neck.

"Kyo!" I nudge him. "Kyo!" I nudge him a little harder.

"Huh...oh Kira, give me 5 more minutes..." I trust over causing the bed to rock over.

"Fine. I am going to get changed. If you aren't up by the time I am back then I am never kissing you again." the words start off strongly, then weaken in a whisper.

He smiles sleepily "You are such as Tsundere Kira!"

"I am not!"

Everything feels lighter, brighter, newer. The weight I have been carrying for over 3 months has finally been lifted. I feel open and true to myself again.

I don't think I will ever regret saying those words last night.

When I return, I find out that Kyo has decided to ignore me and return to the land of snoring."

I smile, this is going to be fun.

"What was that for?!" Kyo yells as I tip the jug of ice-cold water of his head, not caring for the bed.

"I'll be down at breakfast with the others. Try not to fall asleep again, idiot."

"Yeah, but I am your idiot, right?"

I smile, and pull him closer, sharing a lightning-quick kiss before darting down the stairs

"Yeah."

Taking bites out of the bread roll, I listen to the conversation, trying to keep up. Kyo joins us halfway through, hair still wet.

"So, today, we were planning on buying the house. Obviously, since we all can't go, one other person will go with me to buy it and the others can stay here." Keita says between bites of his own bread.

With his mouth full, Ducker yells "I want to go!"

"We will do a draw dummy." Sachi interiors gently.

We all write our names on pieces of paper and Keita draws one out, in folding it.

"The suspense is killing me," I say sarcastically. "Keita, tell us who it is, hurry up!"

"Kyo, congratulations, when do you want to go?"

Kyo smirks "As soon as possible."

"Okay, let's go!"

"What, so soon?"

Keita only shrugs "you wanted to go, let's go."

As a group, we walk towards the teleport point in the centre of the plaza, other than us, no one else hangs around, all levelling up their hardest.

"Bye. See you soon." I squeeze Kyo's hand in goodbye. He squeezed back. It pains to let go, even if only for a moment.

"I'll be thinking of you all day."

"Please don't be cheesy."

He only laughs and stands beside Keita.

"Teleport, Town of Beginnings," they say in unison. A bubble envelopes them until they disappear into the blue.

"I didn't know buying your own home would be this exciting."

"Hey, let's go and make some cash while Keita is buying the house."

"Will we have furniture?" Sachi pipes up in her small voice. Recently, she really has been getting more confident in herself.

"That's going to need a lot of money though, do you want to go to the dungeon?" Ducker suggests brightly.

"Wouldn't our usual place be safer?" I ask "I know even with our levels but going into a dungeon doesn't sound like a good idea..."

But everyone just brushes off my warnings and we teleport together to the entrance of dungeon 27. Blue crystal climbs up the wall, smooth and hard, our armour clicking each time we take a step.

Out of all of the dungeons I have been in, I dislike this one the most with its long straight corridors and constant blue glow.

I try to remember that one detail; I know there is a special feature about this dungeon that differs it from anywhere else. I saw it several times in the development room, drawn on computer screens.

What was it?

The question irritates me, lying just out of reach of my brain. I dig and dig for it, unearthing nothing but pointless memories.

"Ohhhh!" Ducker trots over to a square pattern off the wall, and without warning, pressed his palm against the marble.

The glow spreads into lines as the wall slides back. I grip the sword in my holster tight against my knuckles to keep them from shaking.

The feeling worsens in me, I know we shouldn't be here. We shouldn't. A hidden door doesn't make any sense here, we know the boss room wasn't hidden behind it. So what is it doing here?

What detail am I missing?

The door is heaved open by the three other boys, the room beyond holding nothing but more blue crystal and a wooden chest in the centre.

As the boys rush in, I take a single step, shouting "Don't, it might be..."

Ducker opens the chest with glee, happy to finally for-fill his role on the team. As he does, the whole room fills with a shade of red, warning sounds echo and the door slams shut.

"A trap! It might be a trap, you idiot!" I whack him over the side of the head, as we all cluster together in a circle, taking the safety in numbers as the alarm continues to screech it's warning at us.

From another door, enemies dispense. Goblins with pointed hats and long white beards, normal but for but their eyes running a blood red.

Gollums made of a stone pile on top of each other, 3 metres tall and mercifully slow.

It is 10 at first. Then 20, 30, 40, 50. Too many. Too much to deal with all at once.

"Let's get out of here!" Kirito calls.

Besides me, all of our members are holding their teleport crystals, holding them above their heads. I can last a bit longer. What's important is that they get out first.

I swing my sword in a wide arc, only cutting down one or two goblins. But there are more to morph into their ranks to replace them. They seem to stretch on forever in this red cube.

"Teleport Taft!" I turn my head to watch the blue glow to signal they are out of danger, but it doesn't come. Ducker tries again "Teleport Taft!"

"Our...our teleportation crystals aren't working!" Saki's eyes are widened with horror as she shakes the crystal up and down before tossing it into the floor with a thud.

That place in my mind opens up, this familiar situation triggering something. "It is a crystal nullification area. We are going to have to fight our way out!"

Useless against the hoard of enemies, Kirito swipes his sword, defending Sachi. As he rushes to equip his hammer, Ducker trips, crystal tumbling from his hand.

The thunk sounds echoing before the goblins gang up on his defenceless back, striking again. Again. Again, sharp pickaxes causing a jolt to go through him that is all too real.

I push one off, kill another, but the jagged crisscrossed hole in his back is too big. As if dropped from a height, is avatar shatters and along with it, the player named Ducker dies.

"Sorry for boring you! My name is Ducker, I am a treasure hunter!" He jokes, face smiling.

He isn't smiling anymore.

No one is, it seems.

Back to back, Testo and Sasamaru defend each other before Testo is hit in the chest with a gollums long lanky arm. He shatters too.

I rush over, darting avoiding each blow from all enemies. I have to save them. Even if it is just one. I promised I would save them all.

So why can't I even save one?

"Damn it!" Sasamaru rushes forward before I can reach him, Lance extended towards the stone amalgamation, charged with a green light.

Perhaps it will all be okay. Me, Kirito, Saki and him will be okay. We will come out of this. It doesn't even matter if I show my true ability now anyways; they knew and protected the secret, never mentioned it.

They are above numbers. This world relies on numbers that make up the code, the bricks, the enemies. But we aren't numbers to be counted.

We are people.

That's what makes us different.

But it is only that moment, a butterfly released to its freedom only to be trapped inside another cage. I watch hope flutter by as the gollum swings Sasamaru around like a rag doll.

He shatters even before he hits the ground.

All I can worry about is myself now. I am alone and surrounded in a world of rivals, begging for the fractured pieces of my soul.

I slash and I charge sword skill after sword skill and it makes no difference. There are three of us and what seems like thousands of them.

But still, I bring down everyone I touch, shattering them as vengeance for shattering my friends. I swim in blue and green like it's water, crave it like I am thirsty.

"Sachi!" Kirito reaches towards the fragile girl as the get separates by two towering figures. When he manages to get past them, two more take their place.

They reach towards each other, hands almost touching "Sachi!" The black haired player calls again.

"Kirito!" She calls back, sounding weak, fragile. Like she has already shattered. Even though I should hate her. Even if she hates me. Spending these months with her, I have begun to understand. And maybe even forgive.

Though, I don't think I would ever have the courage enough to confess that to her.

So, I try my hardest to get to her too. For Kyo, who thought it was worthy to save her life before she jumped. For Kirito, who supports her when she is afraid. For myself, so I may have a chance to say the words she utters when she finally falls, struck from the back.

"Sachi!"

Her lips move to shape words I can't hear over the silence ruptured in my mind. She smiles at Kirito and then at me, muttering something else.

Her avatar doesn't even hit the floor before it flies into pieces around the two of us. I reached her, but it's too late. Diable. Ducker. Testuo. Sasamaru Now Sachi.

I can't seem to ever save anyone.

But it isn't over yet. One person is still alive and that means I haven't failed yet. Kyo isn't here, so even if I die, he can continue to live on without me.

"Kirito," I say firmly, straightening my shoulders. "Show your true level to me now; you don't have to hide it anymore. I am level 54."

"49," he whispers, tears streaming down his face. I understand, I really do, but I can't stop moving forward. This ain't just about me.

It won't be.

"Good." is the only word I say before plunging myself into battle to forget. Forget those awful last moments, the last cries, the last smiles.

Across from me, Kirito gets overwhelmed by the Gollum; one knocks his sword from his hand. I hear it as it clatters across the marble floor.

I don't hesitate. I don't bother trying to get to time; I won't make it. But that doesn't mean my sword won't. I throw it over to him with a shout and somehow, he barely manages to catch it.

I reach to re-equip one of my other swords when something spears through my chest.

It is strange because I don't feel anything, even though my body cries out It is strange because I don't feel anything, even though my body cries out in invisible pain. The red hole is gapping in my chest, I gasp as I feel my avatar fall to the floor.

Mercifully, Kirito and I have almost whipped all of the bosses buts, so he should be okay.

"Kira!" The boy slashes past the last enemy in his way, heading straight to me. In my visor, I watch my health bar go down. Inch by inch by inch.

Too far.

"Kirito...I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise."

And that's when I finally leave Sword Art Online; dead and shattered onto the red marble floor.

POV: Kirito

I didn't know what I first thought of Kira; she was strong, yes, both mentally and in terms of levels. But that last one wasn't worth admiring because she was a kind of cheater. The worst

A beater like me.

I don't really remember what I said back on the first-floor dungeon, just that bit about the beaters. But I do remember trying to draw attention. Better me than anyone else.

Even so, we kept bumping into each other and when the Black Cats asked me to join them, I remember her words to not always stay alone.

The promise we both made.

She promised to survive. And now, I lie here, next to where everyone died. And I feel nothing. Well, something like that. This hollowness inside of me that Sachi sewed up.

And now she is gone. Kira is gone. Everyone is gone. I am a solo player again. I didn't even think I would ever go back.

I guess all promises get broken at some point; either they are forgotten or stopped on like ashes to be extinguished.

What am I supposed to do now?

I know. I know what I have to do. Face up to Keita. And worse, tell Kyo I couldn't protect Kira. When I do, I shall be joining her in heaven.

I lift her sword up, twisting it away so I don't have to see my reflection. Strange. When players die, all of their equipment is deleted.

So why can I still hold this in my hand?

Unless...no...I refuse to believe it.

It isn't possible.

But it is, I watch as the fragments of Kira piece themselves back together, to form her red hair, her ice blue eyes that sparkle with something alive than anything else.

"I told you I would keep my promise."

At first, I don't question it, just smile. Because I am glad that at least, I have saved someone. But it fades soon after. Their screams echo in my head. Why? Why? Why?

"Why are you still alive!?" I hiss, angry for no logical reason but I keep going "if you knew how to stay alive in this game, why didn't tell anyone? Do you know how many lives that could have saved?"

She flinches, just a little, then pulls herself up, sitting with her hands on her lap. "If you want to know, you have to understand that this is top secret. I will kill you if it means it doesn't get out."

Her blue eyes hold coldness that could freeze. She doesn't baulk from my hateful stare.

"You also understand that there is no going back from this. Ever. You are stuck with me forever, even if you hate my guts."

I fold my arms and nod once.

She takes a deep breath "My real world name is Kayoko Akahoshi, niece of Kayaba Akihiko."


	18. Chapter 18

POV: Kayoko

Words can't do justice to express the feelings inside me. Words cannot explain how sorry I am for all that has happened. Words cannot begin to express the thing inside me.

But words can explain this.

"I want to kill my uncle and end Sword Art Online for good. And I'll need your help with that." I say it plain and simple. No expression in my voice other than a flat tone.

If I had the time, I would grieve. I know I would, perhaps not much but that doesn't change the fact I feel an emotion close to sadness when I say the words.

It feels better. In a sense that I have shared a secret no one should know. It feels dangerous and exciting and frightening.

It tingles up my skin as Kirito only nods. Words cannot express the feelings inside him as much as they can't inside me.

In silence, we make our way out of the dungeon. In silence, we teleport to the square. In silence, we contact Keira and wait beside a balcony, and watch the sunset in the same way; silence.

Just beyond this floor, it is only clouds and the tinge of the sun glinting. It is pretty for something that could kill you. Like a sword. Or a dagger. A bow.

There is a single shadow in the distance. And it takes its time to walk over to the two of us as if trying to delay the inevitable.

"Keita..." I trail off when he puts up his hand to stop me. From where I stand, I can see the tears in his eyes that have dried and the ones that are still running.

"They are dead, aren't they?" His voice cracks. "Kyo told me."

"Keita...I'm sorry."

I don't know any other words than I am sorry at this moment. Nothing else fits. But the words don't feel sincere enough.

You can say "I'm sorry" when you bump into someone on the street. And yet you can say "I'm sorry" for when a person dies.

Why isn't there any other word that could tell him? There isn't so I say it over and over again, a record broken.

I want him to understand. I want him to know that I tried my best. I want him to know I am sorry.

He smiles the sad kind, the one that hides a mask of tears. "Well, at least I owe it to them to smile when I die."

"Wait, Keita, what do you mean? What about Kyo? Is he okay? Please. Please, Keita." The tears come from nowhere, a trail of salt down my face.

He walks towards the balcony and stares out into the sunset "I can't take this anymore."

I rush forward, reality hitting me like a truck from a high way on an invisible bridge that he jumps off.

My fingers brush his but he falls before I can grab them, a smile on his face the whole way down.

POV: Kyo

I check my menu. I don't remember what for exactly but I did it anyway, just wanting the familiar action of swiping down and scrolling.

The words she said can't get out of my head. She can't get out of my head. Even when Keita asks me something, I don't reply.

An image appears in my mind, of Kayoko pale and cold, blood pooling out of her as red as the hair that fans out in tangles around her head.

I can't shake that feeling from my mind as much as I can still feel her lips pressed against mine.

I navigate my way over to the friend menu, pressing on the icon marked "Kira" even if that's not her real name.

Except. Except. Except.

It isn't there.

It isn't there.

It isn't there.

Kayoko is dead. Dead. She is dead. Do you know what death means? It means you aren't ever going to see her smile again. It means you aren't ever going to see her laugh. It means you aren't ever going to feel her love again.

It means she is gone forever.

And I wasn't even there to protect her. How could I have been here, buying a house, and not realise she had just died.

When did it happen?

How did it happen?

Why did it happen?

"Kyo. You seem rather pale. Is everything okay?" Keita asks, always a good leader.

"They're gone," I whisper. Like the world can't hold the weight. Like if I whisper it, God won't hear it and make it become true.

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone. They are dead. They're gone and never coming back."

I forget what happened after that. I would like to think I just walked out. Even if that's rude. I just wanted to forget anyone even existed.

"Teleport Oak Square." A whisper that the game barely registered.

The wood digs into my fingernails as I grip it tight. Night settles over the square like a blanket, blocking all mention of death from my mind.

This was our meeting place when we first came into the game. Before we were trapped and buying weapons we didn't know we would trust our lives with. Innocent of what would happen next.

The knife trembled in my hand, blade catching on the light as I draw it across my skin.

"Wait! You shouldn't do that!" She cried, taking my hand with care, throwing the knife away.

On its own, the knife drops into the ground, and I cover my face in my hands. I can't believe I started again.

"What do you mean you don't have anyone?!" Her red hair blew in the wind to match the furry in her veins "I promise I will always be here for you, so please don't do this to yourself!"

Where are you know then Kayoko? Why did you leave me?

I take another slice off my skin. Again. Again. Again. It is strange because I can't feel the pain like I used to; there is no release from this anymore.

I started to do it again, not quite understanding this newcomer, where she had come from, why she was here?

Again, she took the knife from me but didn't throw it away from herself this time. Instead, she copied me, cutting herself, tears sprouting from eyes when blood welled.

I blinked "Why did you do that?"

"If you do it, I do too. If you die, I do too. You aren't alone Kyozo, you will always, always have me with you."

On the always, she drew more slashes on her skin, tearing up even more.

"I understand it is going to be hard at first. Everything always is. But when you look back, you will be glad you stopped. I promise. Please Kyozo. Please stop."

She dropped the blade onto my hand, closing my fingers over it. On my arm, across my hands, so many scars. So many.

I threw that knife away and never looked back.

Now, I stare at the knife in my now smooth hand and at the red crossed slashes on my skin and at my health bar slowly inching downwards and wonder whether it would be easier if I just stabbed myself through the heart.

It would hurt less than this.

"Hello?" I flinch, deequiping the knife in my hands, turning towards the voice. "I would ask you whether you are okay, but somehow I don't think you are."

She has braided ginger hair, extending down to her hips in long waves. Red and white armour, blue rapier at her side.

I recognize her. I do. From about 9 months ago. I am certain it is her. She has the same iron hard eyes that sparkle with kindness.

"Asuna?"

She blinks. Once. Twice. Thrice. Recognition dawning in her face, she steps forward, setting herself down beside me.

"Kyo..." She trails, uncertain what to say.

I lean my head against the tree, looking up at a sky that shouldn't be here settle with stars, each beautiful as scars. I miss mine as I run my fingers over my hands.

"Kira's dead."

"Oh...if I had the right words to say, then I would say them."

I smile the kind that covers tears from dripping out. "Yeah...me too."

We stay in silence for a long while. So long that I don't know the time when we do finally speak. I am not willing to open the menu to find out.

"If you don't know what do do, then come and join The Knights Of The Blood Oath with me. Do you want to get out of here? So do I." She blurts the words out "Wait, I mean.."

"You don't have to bother. I am joining. I have nothing to lose, do I?"

"Of course you do. You have yourself..." She stands, straightening.

"If you are willing, there is a meeting at 9 o'clock tomorrow. Don't be late."

Then it is just the square, the night and the shadows of memories that follow me wherever I go.


	19. Chapter 19

_POV: Kayoko_

Today's morning is so different from a month ago; I wake up cold, alone, the first dawning snow drifting on the horizon.

As an automatic action, I swipe for my menu, navigating the familiar clicks to the friend section, closing it when I see the name I am looking for.

Alive.

I check every day, waiting for that time his name doesn't show up, knowing I abandoned him, let him think me dead.

I decided it would be best if we separated. I don't want to bring him into what should be my own mission.

I can bring in Kirito, but that's different. I don't know him like I know Kyo, don't care for him like I do Kyo.

Don't love him like I love Kyo.

It is painful, and every day I feel the burning hole in my heart seemingly grow bigger. It hurts when I push him away, even as I want to draw him closer.

I peel myself from the bed, equipping my armour. I have something to do today other than levelling.

I knock on the door to Kirito's room softly, afraid that even a loud noise will startle him.

Truth is, he is getting even more unstable. He blames himself for the deaths of the moonlit black cats, even though it was nothing more than an accident.

No, it was more than that; it is my fault for letting the development of this game to go in for so long without knocking something was off.

If anything, the blame was on me.

Even so, he can't seem to snap out of the silent, black husk he lives in now, a miracle he even moves to eat and level and bathe.

"Come in." the voice is no more than a whisper.

I crack to the door open, rounding my face around it "I am going somewhere today, you can head to our usual place without me today, I won't be back until late."

He nods

"Find me if you need anything," I say with concern before exiting the empty Inn and heading to the main town area.

Soft wisps of snow brush my red cape, the wind sipping them and my hair into such a frenzy it is hard to see. I power forward unlike all the other players who have barricaded themselves inside.

The main square offers slight protection against the wind, several wood cabin streets branch outwards. Underneath the white storm, I spot my destination, making a beeline for the warm glowing light.

The bell rings as I shove the door open, heat blessing my face as I shut the door with the whole force of my arms.

"Wow, someone is actually braving the storm to come to my little shop! What can I do for you, little lady?"

He has bright blue hair, a smile like Kyo's on his lips, filled with mischief and adventure; he doesn't wear any armour, and I can't imagine he could wield a sword with much skill.

"I would like to get a tattoo."

I am lead to the room at the back, shielded from the rest of the shop with panels of glass. I take one of the comfort seats, taking the hot chocolate from the man.

"I am Shin by the way." he takes the seat across from him, leg resting on his knee.

"Kira."

He slides some brochures on the table over to me and I don't bother looking at them. I drain the hot chocolate before place it down on the table.

"I know what I'd like." I start explaining, and Shin starts sketching the design.

He holds the finished design up, and I nod in approval. "Are you sure you want to go through with this? It will need at least 3 days to be completed"

I nod again.

He sighed "Do you want to get it cover with then?"

I walk back to the inn after 3 hours of lying on my back, the storm thankfully mostly faded. It feels strange to know my tattoos has finally started to take shape, the vision in my head finally beginning to become reality.

I visit Shin again the next day, return at the same time, do the same things, eat an identical dinner with an equally silent Kirito.

On the morning of the third day, Kirito asks "what are you doing all day when you should be levelling? What are you doing when we should be focusing on revenge for the moonlit blackcats? What were you doing when we all got trapped in here? Why didn't you stop it?"

I stare blankly at him, letting the boy let out all of his rages, ward myself to feel _nothing_. I don't even flinch as I did before. I don't move.

"Why don't you come and find out?"

Like always, we make the walk in silence. It has been nice to hang out with Shin for exactly this reason; I hate the silence.

And yet, I can't ever seem to break it, never know the right words to say to a person who clearly hates me.

The bell rings like it always does; the scent of coffee and wood and ink flowing up into my senses. This always amazes me, how my uncle managed to create such realistic world that isn't realistic at all.

If I want ashamed to admit this to anyone else, I could truly say I loved this place. Maybe I don't ever want to see it end.

"Hey Kira, right on time, oh and with a friend! My name's Shin!" He fills ink into pots and needles as he says the words. I love the disorganized feel if this place.

"Kirito." are the only words he says.

"Ah sorry Kirito, you are going to have to wait a while while I finish Kira's tattoo and then you can have a look!" He flashes a smile and then disappears.

This time, it only takes half an hour to properly fill in all the gaps and add the finishing touches.

"Take a picture?"

"Already done." He fiddles with his menu before the picture appears in my visor.

Down my back and across my spine, the roots of a tree span my back, exactly 2674 leaves flourishing on its branches.

7 of those are golden coloured, the rest a normal outline; though these leaves are anything but that because each leaf represents a player who has lost their life to Sword Art Online.

It contains all the people I have indirectly killed. And the golden ones are the people I knew; Keita, Sachi and the rest, Diable.

There are three phrases on there as well, one at the base of my neck and the other two at the last ring of my spine.

The top one reads "Ave Atque Vale" or hail and farewell; a tribute to all of those who died in the worse way possible and never backed away from it.

The other two are mean only for me; something I can never forget. I cannot die in Sword Art Online, that is a fact.

But that doesn't mean that others can't.

The first phase is Memento Mori, remember your mortality.

And the second, Memento Vivere, remember to live.

To keep going forward, even if it is hard so that when I look back, I will be glad I did continue. I will be glad I pressed restart.

"Thank you, Shin, for this, it really means a lot to me."

I think he understands even without my help what the tattoo means to me; the exact number of people who have died. It can't be a coincidence.

"It was no problem," he adds, a little saddened "Come back if you want anymore."

I know what he means by that. Come back if anyone else dies. Come back in shame and carry all the corpses of the people you killed along with you because it is the least you deserve.

I am not going to let that happen.

"Yeah, I will."

I pull my hood further over my face until I can only see the shine of players boots and the golden cast of lights form the nearby Christmas stalls.

Under the fabric, I think people can see my hateful glare at the celebrations; the drifting snowflakes and ring of merry bells.

Not only does it remind me of those days spend opening presents with my parents but of that thought, I had all those months ago, huddled next to Kyo.

I wouldn't be buying any Christmas presents this year.

"Hurry up Kirito, the sooner we get this information, the sooner we can go from this place," I mutter, full of disdain.

He nods in agreement, taking his seat on the end of the bench. I take one too, further apart than ever. I don't think we have even had a proper conversation since that dungeon.

My fingers feel numb from the cold, though it must be my imagination because there are no senses in Sword Art Online.

You don't feel anything other than dust, ash and remnants of feelings long gone.

"I hear someone is taking quite a lot of risks with levelling lately." A player slinks like a cat out of the darkness, yellow like eyes shining under her hood.

"Do you have information for me or what?" Kirito says coldly, leaving me out of the group. I cross my arms bit stay quiet.

The figure shrugs "Nothing worth selling money for."

"You give information brokers a bad name little girl." I drawl, hands draped on the bench.

She stiffens, obviously annoyed at my comment "Well...Well... This wasn't in the beta test!"

I take my eyebrows, a lazy gesture in my hand telling her to continue.

"It is a one-time event, How am I supposed to know what's supposed to happen!? All I know is that tonight, a boss event is going to happen. He's called "Nicolas the Renegade". That's about all I know, I swear."

I flick a glance to Kirito, and he only moves his head once before moving off again.

I move to follow him, but the shadow calls "You aren't doing it solo again are you?"

I laugh, "Solo? Unless you haven't noticed I am with him. Don't worry little girl, I am even better than the beater. I am even worse than you ever could imagine."

I turn on my heel, slinking over to Kirito who stalks away "we are thinking of the same thing right? You know that is nothing but a rumour."

He stares and stares at me, silent for a long long time, then he finally brings himself to break it

"I have to try."

We teleport to a field deep in snow, the white fluff clinging to my legs.

People die in this game. When the health gadgets reached 0, then it's over there is no going back. There is no pressing restart in this game.

This rumour, however false it seems to be, might be right. But I know there will be a catch; this game is fair at its surface. There are no exceptions.

Apart from me.

At first, I didn't believe it, then I didn't want to believe it, and then I believed. I decided I would use this immortal avatar of mine to kill my uncle and ends this.

However long it takes.  
However far I have to travel.  
However many people's lives I take.

It will all be worth it in the end. It must be, right?

Across the clearing, another group teleports in, red and black samurai armour glinting in the evening light.

"What's up!" Klein raises his hand in greeting and I return the gesture.

"You followed me?" Kirito doesn't sound surprised, really he doesn't sound like anything, only a robot running on autopilot.

"Of course, you are looking for the revival item aren't you?" Klein approaches, ignoring me and going straight to Kirito.

"Don't go risking your life for some rumour that could be bogus, man, you can't go about messing with death in this game."

"Shut up.- is his only reply.

"Stop with your stupid soloing..."

Having enough of being ignored, I blurt out "he isn't soloing, I am here as well. With our levels, we should be fine."

I get an instant regret from saying those words, the exact same ones that ended up with The Moonlit Blackcats deaths.

The 6 leaves on my back burn into my skin as the shadow over his onyx eyes grows deeper "That would defeat the point. I have to do this. Alone, without Kira, without you."

"But it's suicide!" Anger boils in my bones. Steam releases as I slap my hand across his cheek.

"Stop mopping around Kirito, would they want you to live like this? I have worse things to be sorry about and I am fine." My rant is interrupted by the blue flash if a teleport.

I flinch at the silver armour that blends into the snow, their blue capes waving in the bitter wind.

Holy dragon alliance. I should have known they would be here, after any rare item like thieves.

" So stop feeling sorry for yourself and get that item if you need it to do badly, Klein and I will hold them off." I have behind me with my hand, shooing him off.

"We will!?"

But I am too deep inside their ranks to answer. I disarm as my players as I can, but there are those who charge towards me too fast; I give them a quick and painless death at least.

I imagine blood and bodies dripping over the snow when it is over, but there are only sleeping people and no blood to be seen, only blue crystals floating aimlessly in the air.

Another flash, another teleport. The shadows under Kirito's eyes are deeper this time, more threatening, even more empty.

He tosses the item, a blue gem moulded with gold, at Klein, before turning and walking away.

"Hey, Kirito wait!" The red-haired player scrambles up to Kirito

"That's the revival item."

He turns it over in his hands as he reads the information "Within 10 seconds of death?"

I knew there would be a catch.

"If someone dies in front of you, make sure you use it." Then he turns away, heading back towards the village.

I snatch the item out of my friend's hand. "I'll keep hold of it, and use it so that he can stay alive until the end."

He only nods as I make off to follow the black retreating figure when I stop, looking back over my shoulder.

"If you see Kyo, don't tell him I am alive." And without explanation, I keep walking, towards the future.

I pace back and forth. Back and forth back and forth, until I am sure I have worn down all the pixels in the floor to dust.

I can't stop worrying about Kirito, can't stop thinking about Kyo. I can't sleep through Christmas Eve and to Christmas Day.

I do one plastic pace from wall to wall and then I turn to the door, march through it, lose my courage and close it again.

Open.  
Close.  
Across the corridor.  
Creak open the door.

A blue light casts over the room, Kirito sat at the desk. I can't see much, but I can tell he is crying.

I choose not to hear the words Sachi says, because I know they are for him and not for me. I smile and close the door, hoping that this will be the light that knocks him out of the darkness.

I return to my room and the empty space left in my heart feels heavier; it is times like this, in the dark and alone that I allow myself to admit the fact that I miss him.

There are tears down my face before I can stop them, silent as my lip trembles to bottle them in.

I don't know whether it is me when I hear his voice; at first, I am convinced it is all in my head. But something glows and I shut my eyes, remembering the sound.

"I don't know whether I would have had the courage to tell you when you hear this, but if I have you will know what I mean when I say those 3 words. I don't know whether you will accept them, and the truth is, I don't know whether I want you to.

I am sure there are other guys who could appreciate you much more than I ever can, and I can accept that. I am happy when you are happy. But, if you do feel the same as I do, I want you to have something"

Something cool drops into my hand, smooth and round, but I don't open my eyes, only close them close to my palm.

"Just remember that whatever happens, wherever we go, or what we do, I will always, always, love you."

The light fades, the item shatters into crystals and I clutch the fragments close to my chest until they fade away.

It is two gold bands, rings, only one golden, the other embedded with blue and pink gems. I slide them onto my left middle finger, holding them in a fist close to my heart.

I won't ever take them off.


	20. Chapter 20

POV: Kyo

I grit my teeth together, gripping the slab of table in the meeting cave so hard my knuckles whiten on the stone. Across the table, Kirito stands straight, eyes turned into Asuna's glare as she pounds her hand on the table.

"Do you think they are alive? Really? In this game, they are just objects." Asuna gestures to the rest of the guild behind us, livid.

"And unlike us, they respawn when they die!"

I can't help but think the idea of using MPC's as bait makes perfect sense; it was my suggestion in the first place. That way, the deaths of players are decreased.

Even though she flinches as Asuna's words, the girl beside Kirito gives him a nudge with her elbow. While I can't quite see her face, I can see where her long brown hair trails down the front of her red armour...

I turn my eyes away, looking at the map sprawled out before us, planning the next boss raid, the next advance, the next floor until we reach our destination and what lies beyond it.

Hatred boils, but I smooth it over, knowing that if she were here, she would never feel that anger; she would forgive.

And I am trying so hard. So hard to stop hating and start forgiving. But there is still that lingering part of me that just won't let go.

I school my features as hard as the stone around us as Kirito only shrugs, a lazy gesture for someone who couldn't protect the one I loved. I grip the table harder.

"Sorry, but I'm still not cool with that plan." If he hadn't gotten another nudge from his partner, I couldn't have stopped myself from strangling him.

"I am running this operation, okay?" Asuna's voice takes on a cold chill as she spits the words "In case you have forgotten, I am second in command at the Knights of the Bloodoath, Kyo here is my Lieutenant, if you have any problems, take it up with him."

Across the room, the boy only creases his forehead in an examination, but his girl grabs his wrist, twisting it around his back.

"Sorry for the interruption Commander, Lieutenant, I'll escort him out." She says the words without an ounce of feeling and marches him out of the crowd, eyes following her brown cape as she exits.

POV: Kayoko

I press my nails into my palms, so hard that if I could possibly bleed in this game, there would be half red moons imprinted into my skin.

It takes everything in me, all my muscle fibres and will to not go over to Kyo and kiss him and tell him about the last couple of months.

But I shouldn't. I can't. I won't.

I take a big breath, pressure dissolving the further I drag Kirito from the floor boss meeting.

We take an abandoned path that leads out of town and towards the next; brick walls keep the dirt on the path from contaminating the beautiful flower field next to me.

"What were you doing!?" I hiss, flinging Kirito against one of the low walls, which he tumbles over and into the grass below. "I told you to stay unnoticed. Do you know what that actually means!?"

"Ow!" Kirito picks grass out of his hair as I clamber over the wall, taking a seat next to him on the grass, clutching my knees to my chest.

"Well it's your fault, we can't go to the boss fight tomorrow because you made a massive scene. And somehow, I don't think a change in hair colour is going to prevent Kyo from recognising me."

I sigh, twisting the ring on my finger round and round like it has become habit over the time I haven't seen him.

My partner sighs too, lying back on the green grass, his black outfit and sword standing out "well that's sucks for you I guess but I am still going"

"No, you are not. If I am suffering, you have to suffer as well!"

"But Kira..."

"Just stop mopping and accept your punishment. Maybe since I am kind, let's train here when the boss battle is going on."

"I mean, there is flowers and sunshine and grass, lots of grass, what else could you possibly want?" I list the things off with my fingers as Kirito just rolls his eyes.

I pick a flower from the ground, a daisy. I make a hole with my nail and thread another flower through. I haven't made daisy chains for so long, I have almost forgotten how.

It is like how I have forgotten my parent's faces or how I don't remember what my room looks like, or who I went to school with.

I miss reality the way you miss a good memory; you accept that the things you remember aren't coming back.

But this time it's different, I can't get these things back if I try, If I reach 100 floors if I complete my mission.

When it comes to it, I won't hesitate, because forgetting my uncle's smiles is better than forgetting everything else I know.

When we leave, I throw the chain to the ground and grind my foot into it; killing my childhood and leaving my innocence behind.

It might have been several weeks until the day if the boss fight rolls around. It might have been a week. It might have even been four days.

You can never really tell with this game; one day of levelling and grinding bleeds and blurs into the next until you can't tell when one day ends the other begins.

While I know my comrades die in the battle to reach the next floor, me and Kirito train, trying to forget the fact that we should be there too.

It's midday when we finally decide to take a pause, sitting under the shade of the tree. The bark indents into my bare back, cape ditched back in my inventory.

Kirito leans on the grass in the sun, closing his eyes and soaking it in.

"Everyone in the assault team is working their buts off and where do I find you? Sitting out here and taking a nap! As there is only two of you, you really..."

Asuna stalks up to us, Kyo close on her tail. She sounds exasperated and irritated; rightly so.

I can see a small smile spread in Kirito's lips as he waves the vice commander away, drawling lazily

"But today is Aincrad's nice's and most optimal weather setting, it really would be a shame work today."

I press my lips together to hide a smirk of my own but I freeze as I hear his familiar voice snort "The weather literally never changes here."

"Well, if you come down here and have a try, I'm sure you will understand."

Asuna only rolls her eyes, but takes a seat next to Kirito, gingerly lying down in the grass. Before long, I see her chest rise and fall evenly; she's deep asleep.

My gaze softens, remembering the time we first meet, even if it was only briefly.

"She must be pretty tried if she is knocked out that easily."

Kyo takes a seat beside me and I sit up straighter, not daring to get too close in case I lean my head on his shoulder like I used to.

I took the simple action so much for granted.

"Yeah," he runs his fingers through his bronze hair. "Well, she is practically our leader, and she is so relentless and hasn't been sleeping much lately."

I swallow my jealousy in my next breath, only blankly staring at the field beyond my game visor.

I don't realise I am subconsciously twisting the ring around my finger until Kyo sees it, and the Sakura charm bracelet I still keep on my left wrist.

Kyo's green eyes widen into shock, impossibly pale. "That's impossible!" Shakily, he demands. "Where did you get those!?"

I close my eyes, willing the tears that gather away. I don't want to tell him, I don't want to put him in danger.

I twist the ring until I think it is only a clump of metal a stone's in my hand

"I'm sorry Kyozo."


End file.
